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Monday, February 21, 2011

The Journey Continues

Today is the first day of my Mid Winter Break from work. I work for the school district so I get all of the same breaks that the kid's do. That is why I, as a mother work for the school district, so that I can have all of the same day's off from work that my kid's get off from school. Plus, I work for the same school district that they go to and I am an arms length away from them during the day if ever they should need me.
As I sit in my favorite chair after having my time alone with God this morning and write this, I can't help but be thankful today for my life. For the first time, in a very long time I feel God's blessing and favor upon my life again. I began this journey in the blogging world after I had reached a record high weight. I was in a size that was double digits and this was a place that was very uncomfortable for me. I had always been a size 2 since I could remember. So to be in double digits was foreign to me. The emotions that were the result of being the size that I was foreign to me also. So thus, I began my journey to lose weight and behold my journey to blogging began simultaneously on my journey to lose weight. I have to say it has been quite the adventure this blogging journey. I have met new fellow bloggers and have been moved by their posts in ways that I hardly could put into words. I have also learned through this journey how to reconnect with an amazing God that loves me unconditionally and fully just the way that I am. For this purpose alone I blog today.
So far I have lost over 20 pounds. But, the spiritual weight that has fallen off my life in the losing weight process far outweighs the physical weight that I lost. I was so angry and lost that I hardly recognized myself anymore. The carefree, happy-go-lucky girl that I was became replaced by a bitter, unhappy woman. The weight of this was like a chain around my entire body (not just around my legs), holding me back from being the real me that God had made me to be. Instead I was stuck, unable to move and barely breathing. Now I can breath free again and not just move but run faster than I have ever ran before. I can stand up without being bent over with burden. I have even learned how to fly. I wrote in my journal a few months back that says:
"God makes me skinny."
He really does. He made me skinny. I am no longer in double digits in size. I am no longer addicted to food and eating outside of hunger. I am feasting instead on His words, and fulfilled by His presence in my life. Yes, I still have troubles. Yes, there are still stresses in my life. Yes, I still get tired from working every day. But now I have a place to go sit and rest. Right here at His feet as I pour out my words to Him and He listens.
I have 15 pounds to go to reach my goal weight. I also have a goal of running a few miles outside as a goal. I am not fretting over reaching these goals anymore. I am taking it one step at a time knowing for certain I will reach these goals at the time He has predestined me to reach them. I know without a doubt in my heart and soul that He will get me there. It may take some more pruning, some more tearing away of the places in my life that need to be purged. This is painful and uncomfortable process. But, bearable because He is gentle and caring as He reshapes me. I am thankful, so very thankful that my journey to lose weight has turned out to be a journey that has changed my entire life. So here is to the last 15 pounds. I am excited to see what God frees me from the last lap of the journey in my Adventure to lose weight.

"Then David continued, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the LORD is finished correctly."
1 Chronicles 28:20


Amy said...

How encouraging! Continued blessings to you.

Kristen said...

Way to go!! Good for you. Have you read Lysa Terkeurst's book made to crave? She talks about addiction to food and the need to fill herself with God instead of food.

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