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Monday, January 31, 2011

Pure Peace

I have two beautiful Shetland Sheepdogs named Chance and Jammer, both of which have captured my entire heart. They greet me every day when I come home from work with a song of praise. They lift their little faces straight up in the air and howl the most beautiful song of "Thank God You Are Home, I've Missed You" to me. They love everyone in the family and greet us all the same way when we come home from being gone at work or school. They also get along beautifully with one another except for last Summer. We went away on vacation at the end of August and had my nephew who is 21 come and stay at the house with the dogs while we were away. He did a great job watching the house and dogs, but the dogs were a bit stressed out while we were away because we have never left them before. When we returned home they started to fight with one another. I mean serious fighting too. The bigger one Jammer, bit off the smaller one Chance's, toe nail. I had to rush Chance to the vet and they had to plug up the hole that was left in his paw and bandage him up. I had to keep the dogs separate for a while until I could reintroduce them to one another without a fight. It was a very stressful time for my family and especially for our two beloved dogs. I was so upset about the whole situation I decided to fast and pray. I asked God for His peace to permeate my household. I asked God to show me what I needed to do to promote this kind of peace in my home. I was amazed at how quickly God came to my rescue when I handed this whole situation over to Him in prayer. Within a couple of days the fighting stopped. Today, you would never know that there was any fighting ever between my two babies. They now look after each other, eat out of the same bowl, sleep together and get along like two peas in a pod again. This whole ordeal showed me how God cares about EVERY DETAIL in our lives. So much so that He even takes care of our pets for us. The peace and harmony in my life ever since this mess started with my dogs, has been so amazing I can't even begin to tell you. I now know for sure that God cares for me so deeply. I always knew this truth, but now I have experienced this truth first hand. There is a big difference in knowing and experiencing. I thank God for His peace and harmony and pray for all of you my friends that you will experience true peace in your lives in every situation.
"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all." 2 Thessalonians 3:16
"I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Cutting The Strings

I am the mother of two teenage boys. Christian age sixteen and Dominic age thirteen. Lately there has been a lot of string cutting and letting go that frankly, I was not prepared to do quite yet. In fact I was not the one with the scissors doing the cutting, my boys out of nowhere pulled out the scissors and began the cutting of the strings. I was blindsided, bushwhacked, sucker-punched and hit unexpectedly by the string cutting. As a mother I have doted over my boys since the moment I found out I was with child. I remember how connected I felt with them the moment I found out I was pregnant. While they were being knit together within my womb, I called them by name and knew them. After they were born I bonded even deeper with them, knew what each cry meant and what each goo-goo, ga-ga meant. I could even recognize their voice and cry in a room full of other babies crying and goo-goo, ga-gaing. I took pride in the fact that my boys ran to me with every problem and question that they had in life. I loved that they wanted to stay home with me every night and watch our favorite television shows and cuddle on the couch. I was overjoyed that they would rather stay home with me then go out with their friends on the weekends. Now, that has all changed. I sit and watch all of our favorite shows with my two dogs instead of my two boys. They are out with their friends not home with me. I have to dig at them to find out what is bothering them and when I finally get them in a room to do some digging they don't want to talk about it. They would now rather be out with their friends then home with me cuddling. Go figure! In fact I am lucky if I can get them to give me a hand shake let alone a cuddle. They say that string cutting is normal in the growing up process of a child. So why does it feel so unnatural to the parent? Instinctively, I want to still cuddle with my teenage sons, fix their hair, pick out their cloths and giggle for hours together as we talk about the facts of life. But, the scissors have been cutting away at the strings that brought all of those things possible. I know as parents we have to stand back and hope that what we have taught them in their early years will actually be lived out by them in their latter years. I heard a quote once:

"The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard."
~Sloan Wilson

Freedom. I never realized that my kids needed it, and that as a parent I needed to give it to them. Then I realized something that comforted me. God gives us a time to sit at his feet as children. After we have sat at His feet and learned all that we can, He also releases us into the world to be all that He knows we can be. With shaky hands God lets us go. With shaky hands we too, must let our children go. Letting go is hard, but watching from the sidelines as our kids take flight is so rewarding. You see, I know that as a child of God when I first learned to fly I wanted to fly for miles. Then every so often I would get tired and feel that I needed to stop and go back to sitting at His feet to learn a new thing or two. This realization was comforting to me as a parent because I realized something; yes the strings are being cut, the flying away has begun, but they will be back. No matter how far away our kids fly, they always know the way home and come back.

"And this is my covenant with them," says the LORD. "My Spirit will not leave them, and neither will these words I have given you. They will be on your lips and on the lips of your children and your children's children forever. I, the LORD, have spoken! "
Isaiah 59: 21

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Yesterday Into Today

As the dawn of a new day arises,
I sit reflecting on yesterday.

Yesterday you whispered in my ear,
My deaf ears were opened to hear your voice speak.

Yesterday you called my name;
I heard you and answered.

Yesterday you took the broken and shattered pieces of my heart and held them in your hands;
Those hands put every piece back together and what was once broken is now mended whole and healed.

Yesterday you replaced depression and pain;
with the fullness of joy and gladness.

Yesterday you traded and exchanged the sack cloth that I was wearing that was stained with blood and ashes;
for the garment of praise brighter and whiter then new snow.

Yesterday you wiped my tears, lifted my downcast face and filled my heart with laughter.

Yesterday you rescued me from the pit I could not escape from.

Today I stand wearing the finest of garments, my head is held high, for I know I stand on solid ground and cannot be shaken. My feet are anchored on THE ROCK.

Yesterday into today is a new day, and every new day I wake up is brighter and fuller because of those every yesterday into today moments of victory.

Thank you for a new day. I stand in AWE of you.

"Your life will be brighter than the noonday. Even darkness will be as bright as morning." Job 11:17

Friday, January 28, 2011

Breaking The Chains

As I sit here in the early morning hours sipping coffee and writing this blog post, I have come to realize something. I started this blog to journal my experience to lose 40 pounds but it has turned into something so much more. It has gone from a number on a scale to a freedom song in my heart. I have dropped 20 pounds and counting thus far from my physical body, but the spiritual weights that have gripped my heart for years that have been dropped and loosed have been the main event of this whole losing weight adventure. My blog is entitled Angelina's Adventures In Losing Weight because that is what it started out to be. An adventure to lose the weight I had accumulated after to many years of bondage to depression and feeling unfulfilled with my life. For some reason the more I lost myself to depression and being bound up the more weight I gained. I have been a Christian since I was 12 years old. My dad was the Pastor of a wonderful thriving church in Troy, NY. The stigma with Pastor's kids of being rebellious and crazy was not my stigma. On the contrary, I was a very active member of the church involved with many of the ministries and serving God whole heatedly. I married a wonderful Christian man, had two beautiful children and remained active and involved in my church. I was the head of the entire Children's Ministry and Youth Ministry. I sang in the choir, ran the woman's bible study, and was the head of the drama and dance team. After my dad passed away 7 years ago, I slowly stepped down from everything in church that I was involved with. I went from being active to inactive in a matter of one years time. I felt I needed time to grieve and find myself again. During these years I went from a size 2 to a size 14. It happened slowly and steadily. Every year another few pounds added on to the number on the scale. With every pound that crept up on my body, a million pounds was collected to the heaviness in my heart and soul. I encountered and faced many hurdles that life has to offer in being a wife, mother and fatherless child. I became depressed. I didn't know it when it was happening that I was depressed, but looking back over the past few months of freedom in my life, I see now that I suffered from pure depression. But, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. This blog is a part of my healing process, and the road to freedom that God has used to drop the weights in my life and help me to shed the pounds of depression. I am so thankful for this avenue to write and release the chains that have bound me over the past seven years. I never intended that my blog would encourage anyone else or help anyone else, but God surprises us sometimes and actually uses us to help others. I mean isn't that our purpose? To go into the world and preach the gospel? Well, to everyone who reads and follows I thank God for you. I am profoundly touched that you read what God is doing in my life and I pray that God uses the lessons I write about to enlighten the path of the journey you walk upon too. God Bless.

"He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains."
Psalm 107:14

Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Light

I will never forget the time I slept in a hotel and woke up in the middle of the night for a nature call. It was pitch black in the room and I could not see a thing. I was half asleep as I fumbled to my feet. I could have sworn I was at home until I walked into the direction of where my "so-called" bathroom would have been if I were at home and then... BOOM! I smacked straight into a wall. The whack brought me back into reality and I realized I was not at home and I was not walking into the direction of my bathroom. The wall made that very clear when I met with it face to face seconds earlier. The bump on my head made it even clearer. I then turned on the light and went to the bathroom. When I went back to bed I realized something. Light is something we have in our lives that is crucial, and under appreciated. How important is light to us?

Jesus described Himself as the "light of the world". I must have heard these words a million times before throughout my Christian walk. However, it was not until my meeting a wall face to face in the pitch black of the night that the truth of those words could knock some sense into my head. Literally as well as spiritually.

"I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't be stumbling through the darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life." John 8:12

The word light in this particular scripture is from the Hebrew word photismos, which means illuminating light. So what God is telling us in this scripture is this; I am the one who will shine bright, gleam, illuminate with incandescent brilliance the things that you need to know in life. I am the one who will ignite you, set you on fire and irradiate you out of the darkness and into this gleaming light. Then you will emblaze like a spot light for others to follow. I am the demonstation of light, you are to follow. Once you follow me, I will instruct, edify, clarify, and reveal the things you have stumbled over in the darkness. You will no longer be defogged.

I cannot believe it took a bang on the head for me to finally see the fullness of the light He provides me with. I finally realize when I hit those walls, or feel lost in an unfamiiar place, all that I need to do is turn the switch on for His light to shine in the darkness. He will make things clear and lucid. He will make the path clear so I do not knock myself sensless in the journey ahead.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

He Is

Today as I was working I could not get my thoughts off how God sustains me. When I am weak, He is strong. The joy of the Lord is my strength. This I know. This was in full effect in my life today. My boss has been out all week. Her dad is sick in the hospital. That puts me in charge and this week has been a very busy week to be in charge. I am exhausted and it is only Wednesday. It is also Regents week at school, so the schedule is crazy and the kids are crazy. On Monday I was belly aching about my boss being out. Yesterday, I gave thanks to God for all the blessings in my life. Today, I am in awe of God and His grace that sustains me. I am amazed that no matter how hectic life gets, how busy my schedule is, or how out of control the day can be... God sustains me. He holds me in His arms and comforts me when I am upset. He whispers in my ear and calms me when I am overwhelmed. He carries me when I am weary. He is my ALL IN ALL. I forget how faithful God is. I am so thankful that God does not forget. Ever! He is faithful when I am faithless. He is the beauty when things in life get ugly. I have two more days to go this week. As I sit and write this I know for certain I will sail through the rest of the week. I will mount up on wings like the eagle and sail through. I am so thankful that God is true to His word. That He does what He says He will do. That He is who He says He is. I am thankful for who He is and what He does. He delivers and He saves. He teaches us to fly when all we know how to do is crawl. He opens the eyes of the blind. He opens the ears of the deaf. I can fly, see and hear now. I now know who I am because of what He has done for me. I am stronger than I thought because He is my strength. I am wiser then I knew because He is the source of all wisdom. I have peace and harmony in my life because He is the Prince of Peace. Today looks bright because He is the Everlasting Light. I stand in Awe of the King of Kings today. He is so that I can be the me He wants me to be. He is!

"For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Still Thankful

Today is my dual job day. I work all day, then I teach my Infant Care Class tonight. Usually I am tired and want to stay home when I get home from my first job. Today however, I am in vision with the correct perspective. Today, I remember the lesson I learned yesterday for the millionth time. The lesson of being thankful in all seasons. Even the double shift seasons. So, I will make today's post short and sweet. I am still thankful. Thankful that I rose from sleep and am breathing, Thankful that my kids are alive and well and love me. Thankful that my husband is alive and well and loves me. Most importantly, I am thankful that I have been called by name by a mighty God who loves me.

"Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God's will in Christ Jesus that you do this." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Monday, January 24, 2011

Be Thankful In All Things

So my boss did it again. She called me last night at 7:30 PM to tell me she will not be in at work. I don't understand why she waits so long to tell me she will not be in? She knew all weekend she was not coming in. Why does she wait until 7:30 PM on Sunday night to call and tell me she will not be there today? So it is the crack of dawn as I write this. I could not sleep any longer so I am writing this to get things into the right perspective. I have to stay focused on good things, not the bad things. I have to remember all of the blessings, not the hard times. Sometimes I get so caught up in my emotions I forget to think. I forget to Thank God for what I have and I only look at what I want to have. For example I really should be concerned for my boss and what she is going through right now. Her dad is sick in the hospital. I remember when my dad was sick in the hospital. I should not be upset with my boss because she waited until the last minute to call me. Instead, I should be praying for her and what she is going through. But, I let my selfish emotions get in the way. I should be thankful for the extra hours I am getting at work, which will give me some extra money in my pocket. Instead of being worried about how tired I am because of the extra hours. God will sustain me. He will and always does, give me what I need to get through today. So why do I belly ache so much? Why do I complain when I have all that I need, all of the time? Why do I question when I already know the answer? Today I choose to let all the questions and the whining go. Today I choose to be thankful for today. I will be thankful and pray for my boss and her family today. I will be thankful in ALL things today

"And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful." Colossians 3:15

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Fruit In The Winter

Today is one of the coldest day's of the year. Tomorrow is expected to be even colder. As I sit here writing this in the warmth and shelter of my home, I write with thankfulness in my heart that I have shelter and safety from the cold that assails outside. This reminds me of how God provides me with the same kind of protection. That God's wings of protection hold me and shelter me from the spiritual harmful elements that assail me. I am reminded today that although it may feel -100 outside, I am protected from the cold by the beautiful shelter of His arms. He will never leave me or forsake me. He will cover me with warmth, mercy and grace all of the days of my life. Life can be cold, so cold that we have a hard time sometimes recognizing the blessings that are in them. I was in this state for quite some time. I felt abandoned by God, alone and cold. I called this my Winter Season. Over the Summer I had a great breakthrough. I felt God melting away the stone cold ice of my heart. I was able to hear the birds sing again. I was able to see the lifeless trees that looked dead and barren grow new buds of lustrous leaves and blossoms. I was able to touch and smell the flowers that were growing again in the garden of my soul. That is why here... today in the dead of Winter on the coldest day of the year so far, I am warm in my heart, soul and spirit. I am comfortable and cozy warm today. I know that although outside it is below zero, here on the inside it is a warm beautiful day. The birds are still singing their joyful song, the trees are waving their vibrant, colorful branches. I am at peace and content within the world. It is well with my soul. In the dead of winter my tree is still green and filled with fruit. Here by the Living Waters, life is in full bloom.

"They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do." Psalm 1:3

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Something Beautiful

Today we woke up at 7 am and went to Lowe's to rent a truck, purchase 2 new bathrooms and transport those purchases to our camp on the Lake. We are remodeling this year. Our little two by two camp is now becoming a beautiful home. It is exciting to see all of the construction taking place. My little camp is metamorphosing into the beautiful camp I always knew it could be. It is at this camp that I feel the most relaxed and at peace with my life, with the world and with God. It didn't matter to me that it was built in 1920's and so teeny, tiny small. I loved it there. But, now that it is being quadrupled in size, I know I will love it even more. My new master suite overlooking the beautiful Lake that is framed by the majestic Adirondack mountains is breathtaking. Even now in it's raw form with plywood walls, and exposed insulated ceilings, the room is amazing and I can see the potential of what is going to be there very soon. I was overcome by how serene I felt the moment I stepped into the newly constructed room. I imagined all of the books I would read on the chaise lounge chair I saw in the corner by the big bay window. I envisioned the antler ceiling fan hanging from the a-frame ceiling blowing cool air over me in the warm summer nights, as I lay in my new log bed. Amazing! It will be simply amazing! Then I began to think; perhaps that is how God feels when He looks at me. He sees that I too, am a work in progress. My life is metamorphosing into something more beautiful. Something He had envisioned for me from the start. Something He always knew I would be. Something beautiful. Something that brings Him peace and joy when He thinks about me. I am that new work. An old strong foundation that is being added to and beautified. A old house being gutted, renovated and remodeled into something beautiful. Yes, I have a long way to go. I know that. However, I also know that the roof was blown open inside of my heart. Cobwebs have been swept away, light from new windows have been added. My life has been transformed from a little colorless caterpillar that crawls on the ground, to a beautiful colorful butterfly that can soar through the sky. God makes something beautiful out of our pathetic, colorless lives. Something incredibly, amazingly beautiful!

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
Ecclesiastes 3:11

Friday, January 21, 2011

Thank God It's Friday

Today was a busy day for me. My boss was out today. I had to go in and be boss today, because I am second in command. I had to go in at 7:00 am instead of my usual time of 8:00 am. I had to work with a new girl who is training and I mostly helped her figure out what to do all day. I came home exhausted and tired. Usually when I am exhausted and tired I eat. I actually did just that too. I am trying to get to the point in my life where food is not the source of comfort. Over the summer when I began my Thin Within journey it seemed so easy. Life over the summer is pretty easy. I do not have to work. I get the summers off, so there is no stress of working. Now that it is the dead of winter and I am working, there is stress. I gained a couple of pounds since summer. This is very discouraging to me, but I will not let it get me down. I will instead remember where God has brought me. How far He has taken me and how wonderful the journey was so far. Now that stress is here and I am back to living in the "Thank God It Is Friday" mode, I will think of Summer. How, very soon I will be sitting on the dock at my camp, feeling the warm sun hitting my face, hearing the water crash up on the rocks, and listing to the cheerful splash of my kids swimming. These are the thoughts I will have. I will not let stress win this time as I have so many other times before. Stress has lost! I will remember that today on my Thank God It Is Friday moment. God is bigger then stress. I can finish this journey to lose all of the weight I know I have to lose. Twenty down, twenty more to go. My food is to finish this work. My food is not to eat when stressed!

"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work."
John 4:34

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Learning the Hard Way

So tonight is one of my two double shift nights. I work two jobs. A full time job Monday - Friday at a local Elementary School. Then, I work two nights a week at a Pregnancy Care Center. I teach Infant Care Classes on Tuesday nights, and then on Thursday nights I run the reception desk for the Anger Management Classes that we run. I get really exhausted sometimes working two jobs. But, I do this because a few years back I got into credit card debt. I owed over $14,000.00 just three years ago, now I only owe a little over $4,000.00. Sometimes I wish I could win money and just pay the debt off, or by some miracle somebody would just send me the money. But, life just doesn't work like that. We go through things the hard way sometimes because we have to learn a lesson through it all. I work two jobs killing myself to pay off this debt and do what needs to be done to get the job done. I am exhausted and wish that life could be easier. However, I know that I put myself in this situation by spending money I did not have and by not being a good steward of what I did have. Now I have to work hard to erase the mistake that I made. This is called consequences. I did not think about the consequences of my actions when I was using the credit card. I did not spend the money on frivolous things. I actually spent all of the money on my kids. Doctors bills, food, clothes, sneakers, school supplies, and many other things that my kids really needed and some things that they did not. I never figured it would catch up to me, then one day there it was a bill for over$14,000.00. I had to stop. But how? Actually, I will tell you how. My husband almost left me over this that is how! He accidentally opened my credit card statement and that was the end of my credit card. He was so upset he took off his wedding ring and wouldn't talk to me for weeks. I hurt him by betraying his trust with this secret credit card spending. It was as if I was addicted to spending money. I had no control over myself. I know God allowed my husband to find out about this credit card bill to set me straight and get me back on track with my life. I cannot tell you how horrible it was that my husband was so upset he almost walked away from our marriage. I mean he had some addictions and sins in his life and I never once threatened to leave him over it. But, with me God is tough. I know better than to betray my husbands trust by secretly spending money we didn't have. In some way I was mad at him because my husband had hurt me so much in our marriage. Then on the other hand, I was the praying wife, the intercessor, the strong Christian Godly wife. You know the Proverbs 31 woman. How could I have this secret sin? But, I did and God called me out on it. I had to face the consequences the hard way. I had to show God, my husband and myself that I can be resposible for my actions and change. I have to work two jobs now and kill myself for a season to get this bill paid. By the grace of God I am doing this. Not without blood, sweat and many tears, but I am doing it. I know I am not the same at all since this all happened. Instead of wanted to spend money, I am always on a budget now, I stick to that budget and I try to save whenever I can. I learned a very valuable lesson. Live life transparent and you will never have to face the hard lessons. He is what truly matters. God! Do not keep any secrets. This is my lesson in learning the hard way.

"For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ's return." Philippians 1:10

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Food Addict

I was home from work on Monday for Martin Luther King Day. I had the day off and I was able to watch some TV, which is very rare for me. I happened to watch Dr. Oz's Show on Food Addiction. He listed 5 signs to tell if you are a Food Addict. Allow me to share them with you.

Signs You Might Be A Food Addict:

1. You hide food in your car or at the office

2. You think about food more than one hour a day.

3. You eat after you argue or fight with a spouse, family member or friend.

4. You experience withdrawal symptoms when you are not eating.

5. You can't stop eating even when you are not hungry.

If you recognize 3 or more of these sign you may be a Food Addict.

Well, I was in big trouble because I recognized all five!!!

Then Dr. Oz went on to give 3 solutions to solving your Food Addiction problem.

Solutions for Food Addiction:

Solution #1: FLAB Find out why you are reaching for food by using the flab method. Are you running to food for any of the following reasons?

F: Frustrated
L: Lonely
A: Anxious
B: Bored

If you are running to food for any of these reasons try doing some of the following instead:

Go for a walk, play with your dog, call a friend, read a good book, or do something else.

Solution #2:

Journals: Write down how you feel when you eat to try to find out what is triggering you to eat.

Solution #3:

Use a food Log. Once you start to write down what you are eating, when you are eating it, how much you are eating and why you are eating you will be surprised at what you discover.

I added a 4th solution:

Pray and meditate about your heart with food and you relationship with food. Once you begin to look at food through God's perspective you will find that food is for nourishment only, not for pleasure or for an escape of what we are feeling.
I was a hopeless food addict, but my life of food addiction is over now that I have learned to go to God with my FLAB problems.

Tell me what you think.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Snow Day

Gotta love a snow day! I did as a kid and I do now as a mom and school employee. I was so excited when I woke up this morning to see the snow falling. I went straight downstairs to the living room, turned on the TV and waited anxiously to see the list of school closings. As soon as my district was listed I leaped for joy, and proclaimed to my two teenage boys (who were still fast asleep), there was a SNOW DAY! They both grumbled something under their breath, turned over and returned to their comatose sleep. Me on the other hand, went back to dancing, leaping for joy and singing the "Snow Day" song. It was priceless. Life is filled with surprises. Little nuggets of joy like a simple snow day can remind you of God's unfailing love towards you. You see, my boss called me last night to tell me she was not going to be in work today. This meant last night I had to scramble through the sub list, call the people on that list until I reached someone that would agree to come in and fill in today. Then I had to wake up through the night last night to my horrible cramping from my monthly cycle (you know how it can be girls, and for all you men out there well you just don't know the half of it), and a headache the size of Texas. I cried out to God last night God get me through tomorrow. Then I woke up this morning to snow and a SNOW DAY! This just shows me that when you cry out to God, even for a simple thing like asking Him to get you through the day, He comes to your rescue. I thank God today for this Snow Day. I don't think I would have gotten through the day today in the condition I was in without being frazzled. I am so thankful God rescued me from being frazzled today.

"The LORD says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name." Psalm 91:14

God rescues us from big things and little things. He comes quickly and he rescues us.

Monday, January 17, 2011


Memories. We all have them. Today my memories are all on my father. He passed away 7 years ago today. Today we celebrate Martin Luther King Day. A man who fought to end segregation and to give his people equal rights. People all over our country will have memorial services to honor Dr. King. I acknowledge this special day too. Without Martin Luther we would not have Barack Obama as President. Oprah on TV. Can you imagine that? I am thankful today for what Martin Luther did yesterday. But, my heart and mind are focused on another man today. My daddy. A man that I admire above all other men. A man that fought a courageous battle with cancer and lost that battle seven years ago today. A man that taught me who God was, never to abandon my faith, and how to love unconditional. God gives us great men in our life time to follow and admire and to be inspired by. But, he also takes them away. When they are gone we can do one of two things, sit around and be angry because they were taken away and forget the lessons we learned from them. Or, we can thank God for the time that we had with them and carry the lessons we learned form them as a torch to inflame others with the light of all the teachings we were taught from them while we had them here to learn from. I choose the latter. Kisses to you dad. I will never forget what you have taught me. Ever! I will carry these lessons in my heart in the hopes that I can teach what you have taught me to my own children. XXOO

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Just Write

Today, I simply do not know where to start. I am at a loss for words. This happens to me from time to time. I get writers block. But, I made it a priority yesterday to start writing again. I write for many reasons; to clear my head, to fill my head, to reflect, to ponder, to inspire, to be inspired.... and the list could go on forever. When I do not take the time to write I fell as if I could just shrivel up and die inside. It does not matter if people see my blog, what matters is that I see my blog. I need it as much as I need a glass of water after running on my treadmill. So here I am on my blog, writing. Being refreshed and revived. Drinking up my time writing today even though I have nothing particular to write about. No significant scripture to share. No story that is note worthy to write about. Just my thoughts. My glass of fresh cold water to drink. To write is to drink. Since I was able to write I have been writing. Recently, I came across some very old journals from my adolescent years. I was astonished to relive some of my thoughts as a young woman struggling to fit in and find herself. As I read from my past, I felt like what I was reading was if I had wrote it yesterday. I recalled some things that I probably would have forgotten about had I not recorded them in my journal. Yet, because I took the time to write all of those yesterday journal entries I could relive all of those yesterdays in every new today that I am given. I can remember what it felt like to get that first kiss, to feel that first heart break, to feel what it is like to be on top of the world, or what it is like to be in the pits. I am able to look back over my life and the lessons I have gathered through the years, and remember what it took to get me to where I am today. The hard times, the good times, the do not mention moments, the shout it from the roof top moments and the moments I wish I could forget. All of those meticulously recorded in my journals. Sometimes painstakingly scribbled, but none the less it is all there. So today I write. I may not have much to say, but I do have something to say. So today, I just write to taste my life twice; today and in every tomorrow I am blessed with.

"Write down what you have seen--both the things that are now happening and the things that will happen." Revelation 1:19

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Staying on the Path

Sometimes in life we just go astray. We wonder a little. To the left, to the right, here or there. We wonder. I have been wondering. Now I find myself back to the beginning. Starting over. Questioning what I need and don't need for the journey to get back on track. There are things in my life, good things in my life, that I thought I needed. Come to find out these are the things, the good things, that caused me to wonder off the course that has been set for me to walk upon in the first place. I thought we only had to give up the obvious bad things in our our lives. The red flag sins. Gluttony, envy, strife, lust, hate, you know, the very black things in our lives. But the truth is we have to give up some of the good things too. Like sitting and resting for too long, or not sitting and resting at all. Or the running so fast that the scenery gets too blurry to see because we are just moving too fast to see it. Or the not running at all, that we stand for too long and our legs give way from under us and we just collapse from the strain of standing still for too long. Yes, I know we must rest in Him. We must be still and know. But, we also must stand up and be counted, and run not walk to the prize set before us. But then, we also must stop to smell the roses, and stop to hear Him. So when do we know when to stop or to run? We Can only know this by listening. Really listening to Him. If you find yourself lost in the journey like me the only way you can find your way back is by listening.

"Listen to me, all who hope for deliverance--all who seek the LORD! Consider the rock from which you were cut, the quarry from which you were mined." Isaiah 51:1
We seek deliverance from ourselves every day and in order to do that we must open our ears to hear Him. He is always speaking to us if we really listen. Perhaps through the written words of others, or through His written words, or from something we hear on the radio or from the pulpit. Perhaps we hear Him through a much needed phone call from a friend, or a letter. As for me I hear Him in almost everything. But, for some reason I was getting too busy to listen. I was to busy with my life to notice. To notice the ROCK of my Salvation, the very ROCK that I was cut from. Listen. Really listen and you will always be where He desires you to be. No matter how fast life gets, if you keep your ears open you will be able to stay on the course set before you. You will not wonder, you will stay the course and when you stay on the path He has paved for you to walk on you will prosper in all that you do.

"Stay on the path that the LORD your God has commanded you to follow. Then you will live long and prosperous lives in the land you are about to enter and occupy." Deuteronomy 5:33