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Saturday, July 31, 2010

Better than a Hallelujah (lyrics) Amy Grant

Today I share with you the song on my heart today. Well to be honest this song has been in my heart all week. At the bottom of this post is a video of this wonderful song by Amy Grant and some visuals that echo some of the miseries I have experienced before. I love how our miseries are like a melody to Him. Just the thought of knowing that when we cry out to God about the things that have gone wrong in our lives He hears our sorrowful cries as a sweet and tender melody in His ear. A song that to Him is better than any Hallelujah can be. Don't give up hope today my friends. Whatever place you are in right now, whatever season you are in Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall... God sees you, He hears you and He will come quickly to rescue you. He hears the song you sing, and He sings a new song back to you. A song of joy, a song of love and a song of acceptance. Let His song be the song in your hearts today.

"My heart is steadfast, O God! I will sing and make melody with all my being!" Psalm 108:1

Sing a new song today. Even in the midst of a dark storm in your life a song can arise. Enjoy this video.

Friday, July 30, 2010

A Song to Drive Away my Friday Fizzle

Let's face it, sometimes life just fizzles. It gets so monotonous that we forget how very precious it is. We get into a routine and like programmable robots we just get through our programed day. In our robotic trance we miss it. We miss the beauty of it all. Take for example this morning. I woke up to the same thing I wake up to every morning. My two dogs Chance and Jammer pleading with me to go for their morning walk. There I was in my robotic trance, going through the motions. Thinking, can't someone else walk the dogs, why am I always the one who has to do it? The truth is, my dogs don't want anyone else to take them for their walk. They want me and me alone to take them for their walk. I am their master, and they love when I meet their needs. They expect it, they relish in it. So, there I was this morning walking my dogs in a trance. No life in me. Just going through the motions. Then something happened that caused me to break out of my trance. My dogs (both of them), sat down in the road, in the middle of our walk and just looked up at me. Both of them wagging their tails just looking up at me. Then in harmony they began to howl while they looked at me. They were singing a sad song. A song with a story. I looked into their sad eyes, and I could tell by their eyes that they were trying to pull me out of the trance I was in. Singing the blues to me saying, "Mommy why can't you enjoy this time we have together? Please Mommy! You are not taking us for a walk, we are walking together." I got down to their level. Kissed each of them on their adorable faces and said; "OK boys lets go for our walk together."
They both got up and began walking again. I walked with them. Taking it all in. Shaking off the Friday fizzle of my same old, same old day and realizing for the first time in a long time, "This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
How does this have to do with my weight loss journey? Well,my dogs sad song broke the trance I was under. It helped me to shake off the Friday fizzle. God's song over my life helps to break free from not just a fizzle but years of bondage in my life. My journey with Thin Within has allowed my ears to be open to God's song over my life again. To break me out of the trance of this world and what the world says about weight loss. His song gave me the courage and faith I needed to trust in His melody over my life and to dance with Him to this new song. Just like my dogs song helped me to break out of a trance and walk with them this morning. I don't want to just go through the motions anymore. I want to give my all in everything and rejoice while doing it! I want that new song to be my theme song.
What new song is God singing to you today? Stop! Break free from the trance of your Friday fizzle and listen to this new song. Embrace it! Dance to it! Rejoice!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Take me out to the Ball Game.

Last night I had the rare opportunity to go to a Ball Game with my family. My husband's company gave him tickets for our whole family to have a wonderful night out together. I was excited to go. But... a little nervous too. I was raised to believe that when you go to the Ball Park you have to eat Ball Park food. It is a must! You must try the Ball Park Hot Dog, the peanuts, and of course the popcorn. In the back of my mind as we drove to the stadium all of these programed "lies" danced inside my brain. I had been brained washed by these lies for my entire life. How could I possibly overcome the power that these lies have over me and not eat Ball Park Food? So, the battle began. I had to remind myself of the simple guidelines that I was following for the past 4 months. Every time a lie began to dance it's flirtatious dance inside my head I began to combat it with the truth. So when I thought about how great a Ball Park Hot dog would taste, I reminded myself, "Angie, you are not hungry, you just ate. You are at a 4. Yes, a Ball Park hot dog is yummy, but obedience to God is better." Then when I started to think about the peanuts, surely I could have a peanut. I am in fact only at 4. One peanut would bring me to 5. I could eat a mere peanut. Again I was reminded, "Angie you just ate, you know you will not stop at one peanut, why torture yourself? You can fight this urge to eat, greater is He that is in you then that peanut." Was I really going to loose to a peanut?
So, we get to the Ball Park. As we were walking to the stadium from the parking lot, the smells assaulted me. They cried out to me. They beckoned to me. I knew my battle with Ball Park Food had really just begun. The mind battle getting to the stadium was only a preview, the real fight awaited me.
We entered the Ball Park, found our seats and sat in them. They were awesome seats. Right behind the dug out of the home team. We were in the middle of all the action. The mascot danced in front of us tossing free tee shirts and baseballs to the crowd. The Vally Cat dancers were dancing the chicken dance, the team players were signing my sons baseball, and I got a free give away. It was a perfect summer night. Not a cloud in the sky and a nice breeze to keep us comfortable in the warm summer night.
My only complaint, I wish I could have been more present in the moment instead of fighting a food battle in my head.
I could not tell you who hit a ball or who struck out, I was too busy looking at the hot dog the guy to my left was eating. I couldn't tell you the color of the valley cat's uniform, I was too busy looking at the family eating the ice cream Sunday's in front of me. I couldn't even tell you the final score, I was too busy noticing what all the others around me were eating too. Like the guy to my right with the bag of peanuts and box or popcorn. Or the little girl diagonal to me eating the cotton candy. I was too busy fighting not to desire food that I missed it all. The whole game. Before I knew it the game was over. I do know our team won, but I don't know by how much.
My goal, my hearts burning desire, is that through this journey to become Thin Within I can start to be present in my life again. That food and all that that word implies will not be my focal point. But that life and the fullness thereof will be my focal point. That the battle not to eat will be replaced by knowing I am where I should be and enjoying the moment when I am in the moment. That a peanut will not be the end of me. I mean really, a peanut! I end with this scripture that God led me to as soon as I got home and prayed about the night. This is my prayer and goal for myself today, at this very moment in my life.

>"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Phillipans 4:8

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Before The Morning ~ Josh Wilson

song of the day... enjoy!

Cutting Deeper

Last night during a live chat with my Thin Within group, our wonderful leader said something quite profound. She mentioned how God is like a surgeon with a scalpel. Ouch! Was my reply. Every day I have a private prayer and meditation time with the Lord. During this time I open my bible every day to wherever it may fall and start to read. I was astounded when my eyes fell upon this scripture today.

"For the word of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into the uttermost thoughts and desires. It exposes us for what we really are. Nothing in all creation can hide from him. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes. This is the God to whom we must explain all that we have done." Hebrews 4: 12-13

How powerful this scripture is. When I read it my jaw fell open in awe of Him. I felt for the first time in a long time His presence wrap around me. I feel His breath on my cheek and hear His heart as I laid my head on His chest. It was a special prayer and meditation time this morning. Life changing.

I began to reflect on one of the lessons in the Thin Within book that I did last weekend. It is called Mirror, Mirror. I cannot tell you the page or chapter this lesson was in because remember I forgot my book at my camp. But, I can tell you it had a profound effect on me. Basically the lesson was to go in front of a mirror and look at your self naked and exposed. Look and see yourself as God's workmanship. God's temple. I was very nervous about looking at myself in the mirror. I hadn't looked at myself in years. I never ever undressed near a mirror. No way! No how! But, I wanted to invest 100% into this book and it's teachings so I did it. I looked at myself in the mirror. Here is my journal entry for that day and that lesson.

OK day 4. Look at myself in mirror and what did I see... At first it wasn't pretty but I tried to embrace it and look deeper. Just a body on the outside. Yes, But can I look past the flesh into the spirit... the heart? It wasn't easy but I allowed God to wash over me and go deep. Past the flesh... I saw a wounded child. Hurt and confused. Wondering how I got this way. How? I have many "locked closet doors", that need to be opened. I will finally give God the key's back and let Him unlock the doors I kept hidden from Him and myself all these years. Clean out the cobwebs and find that hidden, deep hurt that I obviously have not forgotten or gotten over or I wouldn't be here. So the digging begins... I will no longer use food to numb the pain of this digging. I will instead work past the pain. Just like I did when I was in labor for my two beautiful boys. Have a focal point (Jesus) and breathe... Then in the end new birth. Can't wait to see what it looks like. Keep you posted.

God already sees what I have hidden deep within me. Even the ugly awful things. He loves me anyways. He loves me unconditionally. Yes, He does have to cut some of the disease and sin out of my life. But the pain of being exposed is so minimal compared to the pain of keeping the disease and sin hidden. My heart ached and I felt so tired and depressed when I tried to hide myself from God. But, I feel free now that I am allowing God to work on the deep things inside of me. As He uses His scalpel (His Living word), to cut away the dark places in me, I feel better, stronger and more alive then I ever have in years. I am truly becoming Thin Within and oh yea, I am getting thinner on the outside too.
What are some things God is cutting in your life? Where have you felt His scalpel? Sit back let Him cut and wait and see what comes forth from it. Go deep my friends. DEEP!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A New Day

So today is a new day. A day where I am forced to go even deeper. I was forced to deal with an issue in my life that I was afraid to look at. That I really did not want to even touch with a ten foot pole. But, someone else's courage to speak out about a certain topic opened a door of opportunity for me to do the same. The topic is of a mature nature. Sexual Addiction. Not my addiction but someone else's addiction that has effected me personally. A loved one whom I care deeply about has had a pornographic addiction for a long time. I have personally known about it for 12 years now. But, I am sure it started long before I discovered it. How does this person's addiction relate to me personally? Well, you see this person means a great deal to me. He is my best friend really. When he decides to look at porn instead of spend time with me it makes me feel rejected by him. It makes me run to food instead of God. Sounds silly I know. But it is so very painfully true. When I feel rejected I run to food. When I feel unloved I run to food. When I feel like I am not good enough I run to food. I am safe with my food. It won't hurt me. It will make me feel better. It is always there for me when I need it.
In truth food is hurting me. It is making me feel worse about myself then my friend makes me feel. It is not the answer or the solution to my rejection problem. As a matter of fact food makes me feel more rejected.
Imagine being told by someone you love and care about that they do not want to be with you because you are too fat. Well this special person that I mentioned in this post told me that once. Given we were in a heated argument at the time and usually he would never say something so hurtful to me. But, he did. Those words resonated with me for many years, adding pounds to the scale with each painful thought. Words. How powerful they are. But, actions are more powerful. The fact that my special friend would prefer a pornographic inter net encounter over a real person to person relationship with me drove me to food in a way that caused me to gain weight like crazy. The hurts, wounds and scars in life should not drive us to food. On the contrary, they should cause us to run in the arms of the one that loves us unconditionally. The one that loves us in spite of the weight. The one who can take the very things that knock us down in life and use them to get us back up again.
Do not let the short comings of others bring you any where but to His feet. Sobbing uncontrollably if you have to.

" He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever."
>Revelation 21:4

I feel lighter in my heart then I have in years. All because the courage of others. Others who have walked where I am walking now and have survived and grown. These messages of hope have given me the courage to know beyond the shadow of a doubt, I can face the things in my life that plague my heart and conquer them. I can run to God and find freedom. I can sit in His presence and cry for hours and walk away in freedom. This freedom comes by His glorious light. A light that illuminates the dark places in our lives and brings us hope for our future. There is nothing too dark that the light of His love cannot shine upon and set us free from. I feel the light of His life in my life. I am finally breaking free out of the dark places. Nothing anyone does or says to me can take this light from me. You too can have this light in your life. You can feel freedom like never before. If I can, you can. Prayerfully, my special friend can too.

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
John 8:12

Monday, July 26, 2010

Oh No I Forgot My Books

Yesterday when we were leaving the camp to return home I forgot to pack my Thin Within Book and my journal. I discovered this after I returned home and I was unpacking, and I began to panic. My first thought was there is no way that I will be able to survive the week without my book and journal. How will I get through without the encouraging messages of the Thin Within book? I can't! I am doomed. I am going to have a bad eating week I know it. In the midst of my panic God began to tap ever so gently on my shoulder... "Um Hmmm, Um Hmmm, Angie, Here I am over here. I will help you, you still have Me." He whispered ever so tenderly in the ear of my freaking out brain. Be still and know... In my panic I yelled out; "BE STILL AND KNOW WHAT???" My son was in the room and said, "Mom, who are you talking too?" I replied (in disgust if I may add), "Shh go upstairs and get your laundry!"
I was so mad at myself. So upset that I forgot my precious books. Even after hearing His still small voice trying to comfort me, I disregarded His voice and was still in an inward panic. Why was I so doubtful that He who began this amazing work in me would not carry me forward now? My lack of faith haunted me. I was determined to overcome these feelings arising up within me. I began to remember the journey I was on. The steps that I had been taking. How far I have come. This overwhelming surge of fresh courage began to spring up within me. I can do this! I can walk without waiver in this. I am reminded of this scripture in Philippians 1:6
"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."
He will complete the work in me. Not the Thin Within book. Him! Yes, He is using the Thin Within Book as a tool. But, it is He Himself who is completing the work in me.
I will sit back and enjoy His handiwork in my life today. I will walk a little closer to Him. Lean and cry on His shoulder if I have to today.

I will remember this today:
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13

My friends so can you!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Lessons from a Red and Blue Bird

I remember looking out my kitchen window into my back yard. There they were two birds. Sitting on a branch looking right in the window at me. I began to cry. Cry hard. A cleansing cry.
Why did I cry over seeing birds? They are just birds. To you maybe they are just birds, but to me they were an answer to a heartfelt prayer. A desperate prayer that needed a definite answer. These birds were that answer.
You see not only did I feel like a failure my whole life but, I also felt like God had abandoned me too. Like He too felt like I was a failure and He too wanted nothing to do with me. I felt isolated from Him, alone and abandoned.
So onto my next breakthrough. As God started to unravel me through my journey through the book Thin Within He started digging in my heart. Going through the closets of my soul. Rearranging things. First he showed me how I ran to food because I felt like a failure. Next He showed me how I ran to food because I felt like I was abandoned and alone. I felt lonely. This discovery was even more painful then the Failure discovery. I wept like a baby again. I never realized until that moment how lost and alone I really felt deep down inside. I really felt alone my whole life. I had a big family, great parents who never divorced, and I always had a best friend and a boyfriend that I can remember. How could I feel abandoned and alone when I always had people in my life that loved me? The answer may surprise you. I felt alone because even though I had a great life I still felt alone in it. Miserable and alone. I felt this way because I had serious doubts that God could love someone like me. Someone ordinary. What good am I? I am nothing! I am alone!
Basking in the misery of this discovery I SCREAM cried out to God: "Why God? Why am I even here? What good am I?" I trembled and cried some more. Snot everywhere. There was only silence. Why wasn't He answering me? You see I am abandoned. I needed a sign that He loved me and that I was worth something. Anything. So I prayed, well I challenged God really. I know we shouldn't challenge God, but He knows I needed to do this to find the answer I so wanted to find. I asked God to send me a sign that He was truly with me all of the time. That I was not abandoned and alone in this God forsaken place. That He indeed loved me and had a plan for me and would stay by my side always. I asked Him for something hard. I love birds and I never see red or blue ones, ever. I usually only see crows or robins. So I asked God to send me two birds. One blue and one red. Thinking in the back of my mind, never. This will never happen. I am setting myself up to fail here.
Later that day as I was doing dishes at the sink I was starring out the window. I had totally forgotten about the prayer I prayed earlier as I was just doing the mundane things I always do when I take care of my family. Then I glanced out of the window at my tree. A red blur caught my eye. There she was beautiful as ever sitting on a tree branch. A red bird. Alongside her was a blue bird. I dropped the dirty pan in my hand, fell to my knees and cried. My dogs, went crazy barking, my kids thought I was crazy and my husband just rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. But I, I stayed on the floor weeping in sheer joy knowing I am not alone. He is with me always. He will never leave me or forsake me. I am not abandoned. I am loved and watched over. My life is worth something. What a cleansing moment. I hope you have a moment like this too. Instead of running to food because I fell lonely I remember this moment and run to God instead. His presence is better then how any food could taste when I am not hungry.

Hebrews 13:5 "...Never will I leave thee or forsake thee."

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Letting Go

As I began to only eat after my stomach reached empty (a growl), I fought hard to obey this simple rule. You would not believe the things that stood in the way. But today I am going to discuss one of the biggest lies I believed that held me from reaching my goals in weight loss. The lie screamed to me every day of my life up until this point. It was a lie called "Failure". I believed I was a failure. Period. I felt like I have failed on every diet and exercise plan before and I was doomed with this new plan too. There was no way, no how, eating what I wanted when I was hungry without any exercise would work for me. I was going to fail at this too. I had to fail. Failure is my middle name. But, this plan is working for me and I am not a failure at all. I had to dig deep past the diet topic as to why I am so gung ho about about believing I was a failure. Why did I believe this lie about myself? Then God opened my eyes to something remarkable. He allowed me to see. I saw myself as the little child in Elementary School. The one everyone picked on because she could not read well. The one everyone pushed around and beat up after school because she was different. That is when the doubts about myself started to take control in my life. That is when the word failure and all that, that word implies invaded my very essence. All of these years later I was still licking the wounds that were inflicted upon me during my childhood. BIG FAT FAILURE!!! You can't read, no one likes you, you can't write, you can't do math, you are not normal. These lies ate at my soul for years. They have infected my life and the quality of my my life for years. So I used food to numb this pain all of this time. The pain of failure. The pain of being different. I remember running home after school and crying over a bowl of pasta and meatballs. I still did this. I was still that little girl at age 41 stuffing down pasta and meatballs and anything else I could think of to numb the pain of my failure of a life. This revelation changed me. I felt chains break and weights fall off my heart when God revealed to me why I ran to food.
This was my first breakthrough. My first glimmer of hope that my escalating weight has nothing to do with food or exercise but with my heart, my mind and my soul, my very essence as a human being. It is about why I run to food not how much food I eat. But why I eat so much food. My new middle name is Victor!
What about you? What drives you to food? What are you running from when you run to food? Allow God to probe you for the answer to that question.

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Heart of the Matter

So now you know how I am losing weight. The actual plan that I am following which is quite simple. Wait until I reach 0 (stomach growls), then eat. Stop at 5 (comfortably full). But lets get to the heart of the matter. My heart. I was thin my whole life until I hit 30. I was even lighter then my starting weight of this journey when I was 9 months pregnant for my boys. So how did I get overweight? Yes, I was overweight. I know 147.2 is not overweight for some of you. But according to my Doctor it is for me. I remember going for my yearly physical just 2 months ago and her telling me I needed to lose weight and I was considered overweight. I was in a size 12 sometimes 14. I was always a 2. I am only 5 foot 3 inches. I am small bones and petite. I weighed 90 pounds on my wedding day.This was a normal weight for me. As you see in the picture above. That is me on my wedding day.I looked healthy. I felt great then.
So what happened to me? It wasn't from having kids. I left the hospital after giving birth to both my boys in my size 2 jeans. I was diagnosed with thyroid disease when I hit 30. Maybe that was the villain. My hypothyroidism. Yes! This was it. While it is known that hypothyroidism causes weight gain. This was not the problem for me either. I was on medication for my thyroid disease. All my numbers were perfect with my hormone levels, so I should not have been overweight. But I was.
Thin Within has caused me to look past the Physical reasons and go straight to the heart of the problem. Literally to my heart. Each chapter caused me to look within myself to find out what emotions were causing me to run to food. In many cases I was running to numb the pain of my mediocre life. Food was my numbing mechanism when life was too hard, too overwhelming, too hectic, too painful and yes, even too boring. I ran to food. Lived for food. Dreamed about food. Thought of new ways to cook food. Studied and searched recipes for hours. Dedicated my precious, limited time solely to food. I was obsessed. How did Thin Within break my obsession with food? Simple really. I helped point me in a new direction. The right direction. It pointed me straight to God. The God always knew, but kept distant. the God that I had a relationship with, but through Thin Within that relationship went to a whole new level.
So what changes have I made? For starters I start my day, every day, with time in God's word. I read wherever my bible opens. I also pray and ask God to direct my day, my choices with food and I pray for others. I am learning to stop blaming my weight problem on the food and to start realizing it was my heart that had the weight problem. I began to start replacing my love for food with a desire and love for God. Then the hard part... I started to allow God to dig deep inside my heart and get some heavy junk out. I will post more about what He allowed me to discover in this digging process in later posts. But for now all I can say is let God get to the heart of the matter for you too. What is calling you to food? Are you sad, mad, hurt, bored, tired, or whatever the reason? Why does food call you to eat when you are not hungry? Look deep within yourself and allow God to show you why it is you run to food instead of Him? Warning this may be painful. But boy is it worth it. Enjoy the journey. It will get better.

"I pray out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith."

Thursday, July 22, 2010

How it all works

OK, so yesterday I introduced myself. Today I am going to introduce in detail what Thin Within has taught me about eating 0-5. Let's compare 0-5 to a car. When your car is empty you fill it with gas. Well that is pretty much how our body functions also. God designed our stomachs to growl when it is empty. So you need to wait until you hear your stomach growl before you eat. Sometimes people have a hard time knowing what a growl sounds like, so try to listen to your body. Are you feeling other symptoms of hunger? True physiological hunger. Sometimes people do not hear a growl. But that is what I hear when I know I am empty and a 0. I hear my stomach growl. Some people know they are hungry when they feel shaky or dizzy. Or they get a headache. These can be other signs that you are at 0. You may not hear a growl you may have these other signs of hunger instead. You have to go at your own pace, and find out what your own body is saying. No two body is the same so wait for your sign of 0 and then eat. OK. So you figured it out. Your sign for 0. Now when you finally reach the 0 you can eat. Well what do you eat you ask? Listen to your body and eat what it is craving. No calorie counting. No diet food. No fat free dressing. No staying away from sweets. Eat what you want. But keep in mind that when you eat, eat slowly. Sit down. Turn of the TV. Sit at your table. Eat one bite at a time. Savor it and enjoy every bite. Make sure you chew slowly. Try not to inhale your food. It takes 20 minutes for your body to know when it is full, so slow it down. Take sips of your drink in between each bite of food. My first meal I ate chips with dip, a pickle and a 1/2 of a sandwich on real white bread and full fat mayo as well as a cookie. All things I avoided when I was dieting (with no results if I may add). I savored each bite. Sipped real iced tea that was sweetened with real sugar. I enjoyed it so much. When I felt myself getting full I stopped eating. I saved what was left for another time. yes I did have some food left over even though I had cut My normal portion in 1/2. I ate about 1/4 of the sandwich and about 4 chips with dip and about 1/3 of the pickle. I did eat all of my cookie though :). You will find that if you really are in tune to your body when to stopn eating. You will start to know when it has had enough to eat and want to stop eating. If you eat past 5 no worries. Just keep trying. Don't give up. You will get it. Keep in mind that your stomach is no larger than your fist. So eat with that in mind. You don't fill your car past full, so you should not fill your body past full either. I find now that when I eat past 5 I feel uncomfortable. I feel tired and bloated. Sometimes I get bad cramps too. You will figure out what feels good and bad for your body too. Like I said we are all different during this discovery process of eating from 0-5. Try this today and post back to me and tell me how it goes. Enjoy the process of discovering what works for you and for your body.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

How my journey started:

It all started at work when I entered a biggest looser contest. I decided I wanted to lose weight. This was nothing new for me. I have been starting and stopping different diets for 10 years now in the attempt to lose weight. The plan at work was every Friday for 8 weeks we would weigh in. A winner would then be announced at the end of 8 weeks by the percentage of weight that they lost. Week one I weighed in. My starting weight 145.2. Ugh! I have never weighed this much in my entire life. Not even when I was pregnant for my kids. So yes, I am a woman and I just disclosed information that no woman ever tells about themselves; their weight. But I am telling. I am telling because I want everyone to see the transformation that is taking place in my life. Week 2 I weigh in and I gain 2 pounds. What? How can this be? 147.2? Check the scale. I blame it on my water bra. It must weigh 2 pounds. Week 3 I loose a fourth of a pound. Ok! I'll take it. I was cutting out fat, sweets, carbs and extras. I was eating 3 healthy meals a day, 2 healthy snacks and drinking only water. I was exercising every day. Hard stuff too. Weights, running, walking for 3 miles and pilates. Seriously only one fourth of a pound? Then I did something unconventional. I prayed. I asked God to help me find a way to lose the weight. So it dawned on me to look up Christian Weight Loss on the inter net. I found a link to Thin Within. I checked it out and guess what. Week 4 weigh in 7.2 pounds lighter. Week 5 weigh in 4 pounds lighter. Week 6 weigh in 2 and a half pounds lighter. Weeks 7 and 8 2 pounds each lioghter. I went from dead last place to 3rd place in the final weigh in. I won $40.00. I was so excited! I never won anything in my entire life. So... I started this blog. I was hoping I can document what I am doing in Thin Within. Hoping I can bring some hope to all of you out there who are struggling to lose weight. There is hope. I can share my journey with you with a hope for you, that you will find your way. That you will finally release the extra weight you have been carrying on your body. Perhaps like me, you have tried every diet known to man. Every pill, powder and liquid too. Nothing is working. You feel hopeless. I felt hopeless too. But God changed all that. I learned to go to God instead of food through Thin Within and the weight just start pouring off of me. The weight can pour off of you too. So every day I will post my journey. Hopefully you will follow me and be inspired to start your own journey. Get ready. Here we go!