tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17014754688910834362024-03-04T21:30:09.280-08:00Angelina's Adventures In losing WeightsMehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.comBlogger169125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-58498350724393141592013-03-02T05:10:00.001-08:002013-03-02T05:10:35.559-08:00Something Beautiful<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sometimes I can't help but wonder.... what would life be like if only... I dream of something better. Of something different. Then, reality sinks in and slips me back into my life, my ordinary life and I realize that it really is not that bad. My life is actually really good! I have two beautiful healthy boys, a handsome and wonderful husband that I still love and he still loves me, after 20 plus years of marriage.<br />
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Sometimes I take it all for granted. Want a little more then I have been given. Complain a little more then I should. But, in retrospect who doesn't? We all forget what we have. Lose sight of the prizes in life that we have been given. Life just takes a toll on us sometimes and gives us blurry vision.<br />
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I feel like lately God has given me glasses to see things more clearly. To really see what is in front of me. It's like one of those moments where you are looking for something and it was right in front of you the whole time and you just couldn't see it. I finally see it. I see it clearly!<br />
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My life is good. My family is good. My marriage is good. I am blessed. I am truly blessed!<br />
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I am learning, to see... to really see what God has given me. It is something beautiful. Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-80254483804146681932013-03-01T16:49:00.001-08:002013-03-01T16:50:55.716-08:00Do You Know?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I read a blog today from a mother who lost her son in a terrible car accident. He was a senior in High School and it was just before Christmas when the terrible accident occurred. In one of her blog posts she wrote about her sons hands and asked her readers if they knew... really knew what their child's hands felt like. If they could fell them in their minds without touching them? I cried hysterically as I read her post and felt her grief in every word.<br />
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Loss... it is something that compels us to remember every detail of a person when we lose them. The way they smelled, the way they felt, the texture of their skin and even the way their hands felt. If you have ever lost anyone in your life that you care deeply about you know what I am talking about. You know that every picture, every video, every piece of jewelry means something to you. It is like a priceless piece of treasure. I recently found a picture of my dad that I did not know I had and when I found it it felt like I had won the lottery.<br />
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When my dad passed away I took his sweater and a t-shirt from his drawer. I wanted something of his to wear, to have, to hold. I am actually wearing the sweater right now, this very moment as I write this blog and it makes me feel close to him. It makes me feel like he is here somehow. I wear the sweater every night as part of my PJ wardrobe. Sometimes I just run my fingers over the sweater and I can swear that if feels just like my daddy. Even though his scent no longer permeates the sweater, sometimes I swear I can still smell him when I put it on.<br />
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If I learned anything from the loss of my dad I learned this: Take time every day to really know your loved ones. To really listen to them, breathe them in, feel the texture of their skin and know for certain, beyond the shadow of a doubt what their hands feel like. Do you know? Do you really know?Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-31606074631611309742013-02-16T06:08:00.000-08:002013-02-16T06:08:32.445-08:00The Rainbow<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have had a crazy long, exhausting week. My assistant at work was on vacation this week so I had a sub all week at work. I had to do all of my work as well as explain to the sub all week what she needed to accomplish. It was very busy this week to say the least. Work is nice and easy when everyone is there and things just run within the status quot. Whenever someone has a day off the other's have to pick up the slack when they are gone and the load of the work day can seem that much more heavy and difficult. Needless to say, all of the work got done. The sub did rise to the occasion but he flow of the day just wasn't there. There was a rip in the tide, a stone thrown into the still waters and some currents that had a rippling effect.<br />
So here I am a survivor of the ripples and tide, on this majestic Saturday morning. I have a full week of Mid Winter break ahead of me, where I can rest and rejuvenate after a long, tedious week of ripple effect overload. I can't be happier. We all need calm still water time. We all need rest from storms, shelter from rain and umbrellas for cover.<br />
I was always taught that God never gives us anything more than we can handle. With this being said... I also know from experience He has made us a whole lot stronger then we would like to think of ourselves to be. Sometimes the things that get thrown at us can seem so immense and way too big to handle, yet we find ourselves at the end of the storm after the eye has passed and we are none less of the wear. Here I am a survivor of the worst week I have had this year so far at work. I am here in the shelter of a God that knew I could handle whatever was thrown at me. I am here recovering... resting and ready to face this week of serenity as my reward. The reward always comes after the storm. The rainbow. The brilliant, bright and colorful rainbow!<br />
Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-49645486060385578892013-02-09T13:13:00.000-08:002013-02-09T13:13:17.517-08:00Snow Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I had my first snow day this year, yesterday. It was quite unexpected and very much appreciated. I was able to catch up on my housework, make a delicious homemade meal and spend time with my boys. I rested and caught up on some of the shows I missed because I have been too tired to stay up and watch them. I lounged on the couch with the dogs, and just allowed my body to heal. I haven't been feeling too well lately.<br />
Sometimes we just need a day off to rest. Even God created a day of rest.<br />
I looked up the word rest and found this meaning; <strong><em>"</em></strong><span id="hotword"><strong><em><span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">relief</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">or</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">freedom,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">especially</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">from</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">anything</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">that</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">wearies,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">troubles,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">or</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #0055bb; cursor: pointer;">disturbs.</span>"</em></strong> I have been weary lately. I have been worried and troubled too. Life does that to us. It leaves us weary and troubled and worried sometimes. There are so many responsibilities to live up to. So many activities to attend, and so very many choices to make. Life can be disruptive and inconvenient. But then.... we get a snow day. A day of rest and all those inconveniences come into perspective. All of those choices are easier to make and all of the worries we encounter take a back seat to the serenity and peace our body has been longing for. We have our day of rest and life just seems... better.</span><br />
<span>Today is better then yesterday. Life is not so cluttered any more. I can breathe without having to use an inhaler. Snow days. Gotta love them! That is why God created a day of rest. We all need them. Thank God for them. Mine came in the form of a snow day. Ahhh....</span><br />
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<span></span>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-67760363532802181882013-02-04T03:19:00.002-08:002013-02-04T03:19:59.230-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The hands of a surgeon and the hands of a writer are exactly the same. The skilled, trained precision of the right written words are exactly comparable to the skilled, trained precision of a surgeon as he cuts out cancer or mends a broken heart. The right words of a writer can heal the cancer of our souls and mend the places of hearts all the same. As I read other's writings I become healed from all the ills that plague me.<br />
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I am certain that the right words at the right time cause change, promote healing, cure and make all things possible. When we are in doubt and someone before us was in doubt of the same thing and wrote about it, as we read their triumph in every painstaking word that they write it brings a sense of resolve to our own souls. We carry the words that they wrote like a shield, like a sword to cut through and protect us in the battle we are facing. These words are the weapons of our warfare. They help us to reach the other side of defeat straight into victory!<br />
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Words can be the tears we need to cry, the lullaby we need to hear to get us to sleep, the umbrella we need to hold to shield us from the rain, the warm blanket we need to wrap around us when we are cold. Words are healing. Words are scalpels. Words are medicine. Words are victory! Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-85222273033009087152013-02-03T13:19:00.001-08:002013-02-03T13:19:25.340-08:00Waves of Healing<br />
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I thought a very profound thought today... Why do I let my past paralyze my today's? Why is it that yesterday's problems always stop today's restful moments and joyful triumphs? I am amazed at how hard on myself I am. I can't just let go of my past failures and mistakes. Instead I dwell on them as if I can change what has happened. As if I can rewrite what has already been written. Why do I do that? Dwell...<br />
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Some people say it is healthy to remember our past mishaps so that we do not repeat them again. I think there is some truth in that theory. However, I am learning, through a very painstaking process if I may say, that past surfing only leads us to getting buried under the enormous wave of hopelessness. I would much rather ride high above the wave towards healing. Ride to the shore where I will never be buried again by the waters under the bridge so to say.<br />
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I have allowed myself to be crushed by the waves. To be suffocated by the passing waters of time. I no longer want that for my life. I want the peaceful serenity of a restful day. The sunbathing day on the shore of right here, right now. I want to be able to feel the sun on my face and hear the gentle crashing of the water as it touches shore. I want to be in the moment. I am so tired of being in the place where I endured some of the biggest scars in my life. Of always being in that spot where the deep slashes occurred. The painful, deep cut from the knife that ripped the tender flesh of my heart and made me bleed and left me scarred. I want to instead be healed... be running on a beach and healed. Be running towards the waters with my surf board and ready to face the wave and ride it out. I want to ride the waves of healing today.... Right now, this very moment.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-14717039209942300242013-02-02T06:31:00.001-08:002013-02-02T06:33:51.124-08:00Excuses, Excuses!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I know it has been a long time since I have written on my blog. No I did not start a new blog or anything like that, I simply just stopped writing. I could use a million excuses as to why I stopped writing, but the truth is there really is no good excuse. I just stopped. My life just took a stand still. I blocked out how valuable my time writing was and replaced it with the superficial things like "being too busy", and "not having enough time in the day" to write. Which were just excuses for me to be complacent. With this complacency came a sense of hopelessness that I was completely set free from a year ago. Writing is like a loosening of chains for my heart and soul. When I don't write it feels like heavy chains around my soul, around my heart and around my brain. Writing is like freedom. It loosens the chains that so easily entangle me and makes things clearer. Makes God clearer. When we see God clearer we are able to strive to be more like Him.<br />
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Many things have happened in my life since I last wrote a year ago. My oldest son graduated from High School and started his freshman year at College. My youngest started his first year of High School. I got promoted at work. My husband and I celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary and life got a little more complicated. Complications have a way of getting in the way of us doing the things that make us healthy and happy. Writing makes me healthy and happy and I have let life interfere with this avenue of blessing in my life for far too long. So today this second day of February 2013 I deceided to take back my JOY, lay down the excuses and write again. I write about how no excuse in the world should ever keep us from the love of a Savior. No excuse in the world should ever tear us away from JOY and HAPPINESS. I pledge to take the time to write and with every word I type a chain falls to the ground. Freedom rises up and healing begins again!<br />
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Have a blessed day!Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-36921729556192223522012-02-21T07:22:00.000-08:002012-02-21T07:46:09.863-08:00InadequacyInadequacy... this word has haunted me all of my life. I have felt, tasted, lived and breathed this word. I have believed the lie of this word. Believed it stronger and harder than any other belief I have ever believed. Why? Why do I fall prey to this lie over and over again? Why? <br /><br />I try to go over in my head where the lie of inadequacy first began it's deadly assault upon my life. The war was waged quite early in my life. I was led to believe I was an accident, led to believe that I was not good enough and led to believe that I would NEVER measure up.<br /><br />I was picked over in gym, never given much of a glance from any teachers and I was certainly the brunt of many cruel and hurtful remarks by my fellow classmates most of my school year days. Yes, I was bullied. Beat up. Overlooked. Ignored. Made fun of. I was all of these things, summing up that I was INADEQUATE! NOT GOOD ENOUGH!<br /><br />Here are some synonyms for inadequate : inapt, incompetent; incommensurate; defective, imperfect, incomplete.<br /><br />My whole life I felt the burden of all of these words in my life. Every last one of them. These words have either screamed in my face or whispered in my ear that I am a failure. I will never succeed. I am the tail not the head. Stomping every last bit of hope I have ever had to succeed.<br /><br />I have been trying to retrain my mind with God's promise of who I am and what I am worth. Reminding myself on a daily occasion that I am worth the death of an innocent man. I am priceless and valuable. I am the kid of the King of Kings. I can do ALL things... and the list goes on. Why do I have to work so hard to believe truth rather than lies? Why am I so deceived by the lie of inadequacy? When will I learn... finally learn that God will not abandon me as others have. He will perfect me. Fine tune me... <br /><br /><em><strong>"The LORD will fulfill [his purpose] for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever--do not abandon the works of your hands."<br />Psalm 138:8</strong></em><br /><br />I will remember this instead of that. I am not inadequate, I am being perfected!Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-63036440490541472372012-02-12T07:15:00.001-08:002012-02-12T07:50:32.945-08:00I Am Created On Purpose<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifHhyluBr2HyNbAjj7cg-7Yn473TZhZm5G7dWW5NnRCrC-nSA4ObmQK3drQ6poDAgxu6WVvDjoW8sGiQf_rNUKgSexHxD58SAkaEVdDiSl8t8HyLGfqnd8X66i8MvZzpUUBDkMTdXLiceK/s1600/Psalm139.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 310px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifHhyluBr2HyNbAjj7cg-7Yn473TZhZm5G7dWW5NnRCrC-nSA4ObmQK3drQ6poDAgxu6WVvDjoW8sGiQf_rNUKgSexHxD58SAkaEVdDiSl8t8HyLGfqnd8X66i8MvZzpUUBDkMTdXLiceK/s400/Psalm139.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5708275719234141650" /></a><br /><br />I have been learning that the noise inside my head can be silenced. The lies that have held on tight to my mindset all of these years can be transformed by truth. I can finally see the light in the dark places. A break in the clouds. A rainbow after the storm. It is here. It has always been here. My views of them have just been limited. Limited by the mountain... by the thick smoke... by the heavy rain. But, the mountain has been removed, the smoke has lifted and the rain has stopped. NO MORE LIES!<br /><br />I believed for the longest time I was not wanted or planned. I thought I was an accident. I was told that I was a huge surprise to my parents. My mom had thought she was in menopause when she discovered she was pregnant for me. She had no idea I was there. I took her by surprise. There is a nine year gap between me and my oldest sister. Although my mom and dad have always told me they loved me and that I brought joy to their lives, just knowing I was not planned and came as a surprise somehow made me think I was not wanted... I was an inconvenience. I am not sure why this lie gripped it's ugly grip into my soul, my essence... but it has. It has in ways that have really held me back. In ways that have made me think for the longest time, I don't fit in... I'm not good enough and I will never be of any great importance.<br /><br />I struggled my whole life with the carrying of the burden that I was not wanted. It has shown up in my schooling, when I was at the bottom of the class. It has shown up in my friendships, when I have held on too tight thinking I will be rejected. It has shown up in my marriage, when I have thought that I could never be the woman my husband really wants. It has shown up in my parenting, thinking I will never be a good enough mother. I have been insecure about who I am and what I am worth my entire existence. But the lies stop now! I choose from this day forward to apply the truth of God's word as to who I am and what I am worth.<br /><br /><em><strong>" And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." <br />Luke 12:7</strong></em><br /><br />I am of value. Great value. I am cared for and loved by a God that comes close enough to count the very hairs on my head. He knows me. He sees me. He loves me. I was not an accident. I was created on purpose! God has a plan, a very important mission for me to accomplish. The lies stop today! I will believe what He says about me. I will believe I have a purpose, I have a meaning, I AM WANTED, I AM USEFUL!<br /><br />...so are you!Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-40262183698355386422012-02-10T11:42:00.000-08:002012-02-10T12:08:51.477-08:00The Unbeaten PathLife is filled with bumpy roads. I just hit a huge crater recently. I have two teenage boys... need I say more? My oldest son is like a big jack hammer. He creates BIG holes in the road. He doesn't mean to. He just does. So... I have to keep driving. No matter what! Drive past the gigantic holes that my son makes as he jackhammers away in his life, in my life and in our lives as a family.<br /><br />I love my kids with all of my heart, but boy is it difficult being a good parent in today's world. I know... there is nothing new under the sun, but I have to tell you it looks to me like a whole new world out there these days then the world I knew as a teenager. The inter net is wonderful, but it opens doors of opportunities that I would rather my two boys not have the key to open.<br /><br />My kids are really good kids, but they are not perfect. They make mistakes. They make holes in the road, making your journey as a parent more challenging. There are moments in my day where I just want to throw in the towel because it seems I will never get past the craters that they create. Then God comes in like a flood and assures me I am well equipped to get by. There is a old dirty, bumpy and winding side road I can take as a detour and I will reach my final destination. Sure... there may be a delay in me getting there. But, I WILL GET THERE!<br /><br />I am trying to enjoy the scenery along the way with each unbeaten path I have to take. I am amazed at the wonderful things I am able to see, that I might not have seen have I taken the freeway the whole way. Life is full of surprises that way. <br /><br /><em><strong>"Adversity is the first path to truth." <br />Lord Byron</strong></em><br /><br />This quote says it well. Adversity causes us to find truth. When we have to face something difficult we finally discover, surprisingly discover:<br /><br /><em><strong>"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."<br />Psalm 73:26</strong></em><br /><br />...Even on the unbeaten path!Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-46745102385512727712012-02-03T13:48:00.001-08:002012-02-03T14:09:37.033-08:00Peace Is A GiftSometimes life is so busy you can barely catch your breath. My life has been this busy lately. I use to get all worked up when life was in hyper speed. Now... I just go with it. Time has a way of mellowing us. The things I use to do and the responses I use to have are so far removed from my life these days. I am much more at peace with life and with myself now. Before I use to get all out of whack, now I just roll with the punches. Even the hard punches. I have learned over the years that life is very unpredictable and we cannot control it. I use to try to control it and get so frustrated when things did not turn out the way that I wanted them to. Now, I just let go. The strings of control that I white knuckle gripped onto I have turned over to God. I let go and let Him have them. He is now in control. So... when things get crazy in my life I know I am in good hands. That it will all be okay. He is there holding me... guiding me... making all things new, refreshed and wonderful! God gives us the greatest gift when we let go and allow Him full control of our lives. PEACE.... PURE PEACE! A peace that takes away all fear of trouble, problems and the hard hits that life sometimes gives us. I pray you all find this peace.<br /><br /><em><strong>"I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid."<br />-John 14:27</strong></em>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-21688591775640157922012-01-23T11:11:00.000-08:002012-01-23T11:25:18.947-08:00It Is Still Only MondayIt is amazing how many times in one day I wish my life away. I wish this work day was over... I wish it was Friday when it is only Monday... Why do I do this? Why can't I just enjoy the moment I am in... Savor it... Relax in it. Why?<br />I am trying to teach myself to be content in ALL things. To not whine so much over things that I have no control over and cannot change. I can't make it Friday when it is still only Monday... So, why wish it was when it is not? Why do I wish life away?<br />Do not be anxious about anything... NADA... NOTHING!!! I think this scripture includes what day I want it to be.<br />There is one thing I know for certain: Life is short, really short! We are only given a certain number of days on earth so why do I spend some of those precious moments of my numbered days wishing life away? On the contrary I should live in the right here, right now moments or I will miss the beauty... the priceless, precious beauty of the moment.<br />So... today I chose to live in the moment... To be thankful for the right now... Even though it is still only Monday.<br /><br /><em><strong>"Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present." <br />-Roger Babson </strong></em>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-34418383857642909692012-01-22T05:41:00.000-08:002012-01-22T08:10:31.151-08:00The Head And Not The Tail<em><strong>"The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom."<br />-Deuteronomy 28:13</strong></em><br /><br />I AM the head and not the tail... these words are so inspirational to me. I AM!! You are!! We do not have to feel like failures the rest of our lives. We are not failures, we are not on the bottom... we are ON THE TOP! First choice, a stand out from the rest. <br /><br />I am allowing these words to penetrate through years of feeling like I will never amount to anything. I am allowing GOD'S WORD to penetrate the lies I have believed for far to long. I AM favored, blessed, redeemed, sanctified... a STAND OUT. I AM!!! These are the things I focus on now. I will never focus on what I have failed at no longer. I will never dwell on all of the places in my life that I have fallen. I will instead dwell on the truth of God's word... I AM THE HEAD AND NOT THE TAIL. I AM!!! I will dwell on this. Yes, I have fallen a million numbers of times... I have gotten up stronger EVERY time, and I am still going. Yes, I have failed too many times to count... but, I have been successful way more times then I have failed. His success is my crown of glory. I will wear that crown with PRIDE!!! Beaming pride. <br /><br />Dwell on God's truth today... Be inspired... YOU ARE THE HEAD AND NOT THE TAIL. YOU ARE!Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-8564552926204303002012-01-18T14:10:00.000-08:002012-01-18T14:34:42.678-08:00Life Goes OnYesterday marked the eighth year that my dad passed away. It seems like yesterday. It is just as raw and sad as ever at the mark of each year. Life has a way of healing us in time. However, there is no healing when you lose a loved one. Time is suppose to heal all wounds, but the wound we get when someone one of a kind in your life dies never fully heals. I am discovering after eight years of missing and hurting from the loss of my dad that it is okay to be wounded. It is okay to miss someone, and hurt for them when they leave us. It is okay!<br /><br />I use to feel guilty whenever I cried or felt sad about my dad. It has been eight years after all, I should be over it by now. Truth is... I am coming to realize that I don't have to feel guilty about missing my dad, and I sure don't have to get over it. I may never get over it. For the rest of my life I will miss him, think of him, and wish to God he was here with me to share life. Life does go on... but it would be better if he was here. It really would. It is okay that I think that. I use to think I had no faith because I was so wounded over losing my dad. Honestly, I grew leaps and bounds in faith because of the wound of losing my dad. This quote says it all:<br /><br /><em><strong>"A wounded deer leaps the highest."<br />-Emily Dickinson</strong></em><br /><br />Life goes on... eight years of life have gone on. I feel stronger, faster and more capable to leap over the obstacles that life throws my way. I may be wounded but boy can I leap!!! Life goes on and I am ready! Still missing dad, but READY!Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-27466744526316452842012-01-16T05:50:00.000-08:002012-01-16T06:12:46.169-08:00I Am LearningI am learning that I am not the tail, I am the head. I am not the bottom, I am the top. I am not forgotten, I am chosen. I am not last, I am first. I am learning that God's favor is on me. That God actually has my best interest at heart. I am learning that I have life and not death ahead of me. I am learning that I was not put on this earth to merely survive, I was put on this earth to have a more abundant life. I am learning that He did not turn His face against me and abandon me, His face shines radiantly upon me. He sees me. He knows me by name. I am the apple of His eye. <br /><br />I am learning that my cup is not half empty, it is full and overflowing. I am learning that the place I reside is not desolate and empty, but plenteous and flourishing. I am learning that the trees of the field are not barren, but indeed are bearing an abundance of ripe, delicious fruit. The streams in the desert are not dry, but they overflow. There is abundance here. There is prosperity here.<br /><br />I am learning that life is meant to be enjoyed not forebode. Life is meant to be lived moment to moment and not wished away. Life is a gift, to be opened with excitement. A gift from a loving Father that cares about us with such detail. HE CARES ABOUT US.<br /><br />I am learning, soaking this all in.... GOD CARES DEEPLY ABOUT ME!Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-61513618032004999282012-01-08T14:46:00.000-08:002012-01-08T15:10:06.807-08:00No Words...I am at a loss for words today... this whole week really. It happens sometimes. You don't know what to say because there is just too much going on around you. I have learned that even though I am committed to writing I sometimes have no words to write. I am realizing that days like this are okay. It is okay not to have the words to say or write. Sometimes we have to just sit back and absorb life. Hold our breath, hold our tongue, and let our fingers rest from writing. To just step back from it all and watch. Watch what is happening. Live what is happening. Be in the moment while it happens. <br /><br />Right now, this whole past year actually I have had to step back from life, words and stories... and just live in the moment. Live today. Live right now. Life is complicated, delicate and requires tremendous effort sometimes. Yet, life also has it's moments of effortlessness and free flowing waves and bursts. No matter where you are in life take a moment to just step back and admire the fine piece of artistic masterpiece that your life really is.<br /><br /><em><strong>"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."<br />Ephesians 2:10<br /> </strong></em><br /><br />Life... our life is a masterpiece created by a master mind. There is so much beauty that words cannot describe. So look close... admire.... be still for a moment and just bask in the priceless beauty that He created in this moment. He planned something wonderful. Something beatiful. No words can describe it. NO WORDS AT ALL.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-38319999924169953062012-01-01T16:15:00.000-08:002012-01-01T16:46:40.290-08:00There Is ALWAYS Someone ElseToday I learned that a friend of mine lost her beloved boyfriend. He died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack on December twenty eighth. I was shocked when she walked into the church crying, I asked her what was wrong and she told me; "Les died." This particular woman has been a single mom for as long as I have known her. She after many, many years of being a single mom finally finds a wonderful man to date and was head over heals in love with him and he dies suddenly. It makes me think.... there is always someone else in your life that has it harder than you. There is always someone else that is facing a more trying time than you. ALWAYS! <br /><br />Today is the first day of the New Year. A BRAND NEW YEAR! I am reminded today of all days, that despite whatever petty things I had to endure in 2011 they cannot even compare to what my friend has to go through by losing the love of her life at the start of this New Year. I must never forget what grief feels like. When I lost my dad to cancer... grief flooded my heart and soul like a river. It made me more sensitive to life and how vunerable it is, and how we only have one life here on earth to live. How every day brings us closer to death. How there is no guarantee for any of us that we will be here tomorrow. These realities made me see life for what it was. Precious, priceless and limited. The taste of grief is bitter but very important. It opens up our taste buds of life and makes us more sensitive to the sweetness when it comes our way. It makes this scripture come to life for me;<br /><br /><em><strong>"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."<br />Psalm 34:8</strong></em><br /><br />We can taste the salt in our tears, the bitterness of grief and pain... and we can also taste and see that GOD IS GOOD. His goodness cleans our pallets after we have to taste the bitter moments we sometimes have to taste. He is good and I know He will comfort my friend in her loss the way he comforted me when I lost my dad. There is always someone else. Pray for those someone else's. They could be standing right next to you this very moment. Perhaps your prayer or words can be the something sweet they need right now to see that He is good.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-86903177688144608112011-12-31T04:57:00.001-08:002011-12-31T05:07:14.968-08:00Hope for TomorrowSo today is New Years Eve, and I am determined to be hopeful for the upcoming New Year. This past year has been very challenging, and I feel as though I have stepped back a few steps instead of moving forward. I am hoping that the New Year will bring with it some new hope and renewal of strength. I feel drained and tired. I know that there are seasons in life. I know that this current season in my life is a time of work, blood, sweat and tears.... but, tomorrow... yes tomorrow comes rest, prosperity and peace. There is always tomorrow. Always hope for joy to come in the morning. Though the night may tarry for what seems like eternity, morning always rises with the sun.<br /><br /><em><strong>"Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all."<br />Emily Dickinson</strong></em><br /><br />With this quote I end.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-34380487199792906632011-12-30T06:41:00.000-08:002011-12-30T07:06:33.304-08:00Lesson's From A Japanese ProverbLife can be complicated sometimes. Lately my life has been just that... complicated. Just when I think I am getting ahead, something happens that throws me back a million miles. I fall down hard sometimes. Then, I have get back up and start over. There is a Japanese Proverb that says this: <em><strong>"Fall seven times and stand up eight."</strong></em> I love this proverb. I makes me feel better about all the times I have fallen. I have to find the resilience to stand back up after each fall. Stand up tall!<br /><br />Sometimes it is not always me that falls. It can be a family member that falls. When someone I love and care about falls down I feel as though I have fallen too. It hurts just as much too. <br /><br />Today, is one of these days. A loved one has done something that they should not have done. Nothing horrible, or life threatening, just something they should not have done. It makes me sad and want to cry... but, it also makes me want to try harder. To be better. To teach more wisely. Although I cannot control the choices that my loved ones make, (only my own choices). I can however, educate them when they do make the wrong choice to make a better choice the next time. I can show them how to get back up, dust yourself off and try again. Supporting someone when they are at their worst can be difficult and painful, but that is the time when someone needs your support the most. <br /><br />So, today I stand tall as I help pull someone else up after they have fallen. I will do this as many times as needed, until they can stand up tall on their own. This only makes my journey in life better.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-82547497796956606322011-12-26T05:26:00.000-08:002011-12-26T06:01:16.907-08:00Catching My BreathSo.... I have asthma. I was astounded when I was diagnosed with it 2 years ago. I was always very active. I ran eight miles a day when I was in school. After I had my kids I would bike for miles with them in tow. Then out of nowhere a couple of years ago I started losing my breath doing the simplest of things. I was even waking up in the middle of the night not able to breath or catch my breath. At first I thought it was panic attacks. Or rather, everyone I know that I explained my symptoms to told me it was panic attacks. Isn't it amazing how people you know become doctors and immediately diagnose you when you are having any kind of weird symptom. One friend of mine even convinced me that I was dying of lung cancer. So... I decided to call the real doctor and get this thing checked out. As I sat in the doctors office after explaining all of my symptoms and getting an x-ray, I was anxiously awaiting her diagnosis. She decided that there was incredible density in my lungs and referred me to a pulmonary specialist. I had to wait 2 weeks before I would see him though. During that time... I was convinced I was dying of stage 4 lung cancer. It was the most horrific time of my life. Just not knowing what was wrong with me, and expecting the worst case scenario to be wrong with me put me into a state of mind that I hope I never have to revisit any time soon. My incredible husband and adoring children reminded me every day that I was going to be okay. That there was no way God was going to take me from them. They were my Jonathan's as I was experiencing a David moment in life. After the two week of waiting was over, many tears were shed, and many sleepless nights passed I got my answer. No it was not stage 4 lung cancer... it was simply asthma. Adult onset asthma to be exact. All of the density in my lungs was merely scar tissue from having pneumonia so much as a child.<br /><br />PHEW! I can't tell you the relief I felt. The doctor prescribed singular and a emergency inhaler. Two years later I am still on these medications and breathing much better. However, it is amazing what a thought of having an incurable disease such as stage 4 lung cancer can do to a person. This moment in my life changed the direction of which I was going. It caused me to rethink my life. Rethink my future. Rethink what really mattered.<br /><br />As I reflect over this past year in preparation for entering into a New Year days from now, I can't help but remember how blessed I am. Yes, there are experiences this year I wished I hadn't had to experienced. There were moments I had hoped I had not had to live. But, mostly there was experiences and moments I am so thankful for. I want to enter this New Year being ever so thankful for the many blessings as well as the many trials I have faced. It is the bumps in the road that make us more resilient and stronger to face each new day.<br /><br /><br /><em><strong>"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."<br />Author Unknown</strong></em>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-22833250009758757342011-12-25T11:47:00.000-08:002011-12-25T12:06:45.114-08:00Christmas MorningThis Christmas was a bit different then any other Christmas. I spent Christmas Eve at the Hospital with my mom. She felt like she was dying, so we called the ambulance. Thankfully it was just heart burn. But none the less I spent a few hours in the ER with my mom. This made me see things in a different perspective in my life. It is amazing what a trip to the ER can do to a person.<br /><br />Just when you think you have all your ducks in a row, and life could not get any better. Seriously, what is better then Christmas with your whole family surrounding you? Then BOOM! You are in the ER, thinking the worst. Hoping for the best. Praying for a miracle. As my mom was breathing breath and being diagnosed with a non lifethreatening illness, someone in that same ER was taking their last breath. Family members gathered, saying their last goodbye. Life becomes clearer to the living. More vivid, more hopeful. But, for those who lose someone... on Christmas Eve, there life becomes a little dimmer.<br /><br />So, as you gather around your Christmas trees, or Christmas dinner tables today remember this quote by Charles Dickens. <br /><br /><em><strong>"I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys."<br /> </strong></em><br /><br />Look around you. People everywhere. Happy and hurting, Joyful and tearful, Rejoicing and greiving... they are everywhere... Spread to all the Christmas cheer: <br /><br /><em><strong>"For unto us was born this day a savior JESUS CHRIST THE LORD." <br />Luke 2:11</strong></em>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-55249679339802325312011-07-21T05:49:00.000-07:002011-07-21T06:12:11.006-07:00I Am A WriterYes... I have taken a few days off of writing again. It is Summer and in the Summer you take vacation. I was on vacation for a few days. Now I am back again.<br /><br />So while I was on vacation, I got to thinking... Thinking that, life is really short and it is so important to follow your dreams before time runs out to achieve them. My dream, since I can remember, is to become a published author someday. There I said it. Well actually I wrote it. I wrote it out loud for all to read. But, mostly I wrote it out loud for myself to remember. I had forgotten. Forgotten what my passion is. Put it on the back burner of life, and stepped away. Today, I am not going to do that. I am going to instead... run towards my passion to be a published author, embrace it and cease the moment. I am not sure how, or what, or where but I have decided when. TODAY is when. Today Is NOW! I have to fulfill this life long dream. I HAVE TO!<br /><br />I believe that God puts our dreams and passions in our lives and in our hearts for a reason. I believe that when He knits us together in the wombs He knits those dreams and passions into our very essence for us to become who He predestined us to be. When He knit me together in my Mother's womb He knit me with a pen and journal in my hand. Since I learned how to write, I have been writing. Writing my heart and soul, spilling my guts, recording my dreams and pouring out what He has poured into me with pen onto paper. I am a writer!<br /><br />I was so fearful to tell others my dream to be a writer. Afraid that if I told people about my dream to be a published author, it would never come true. But, today I am pushing through the fear and confessing to all who reads these words today.... I have a dream... a dream to write, to be heard, to be published and a dream to achieve my goal in becoming a published author. There I said it!!!! I am a writer.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">"Therefore write the things which you have seen, and the things which are, and the things which will take place after these things." <br />Revelation 1:19<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-49404207181616945172011-07-12T05:21:00.000-07:002011-07-12T05:41:53.518-07:00Family Is Where It Is AtToday I am sitting here just basking in the joy that I have all of my family together right now. You see I have two teenage boys that love to be with their friends all of the time. My one son who is 17 and officially a Senior this year... is absolutely never home. Between working and being out with friends I barely see him any more... and frankly I do not like it. My other son is 13 and just starting to be out all of the time with friends. That is what happens with teenagers, they get to this place of being independent and no longer need you or want you any more. It breaks my heart to let go but I have to. I have to release them and trust God that I have raised them well in Him. Trust God that they will be okay as I do release them into this world.<br /><br />My oldest just got his drivers license recently and is working really hard and saving money to buy his very first car. I am so proud of him and his work ethic. So very proud that he gets up every day, goes to school, comes home for a few minutes and heads strait to work every night. He did this and maintained a very good grade point average all year. This makes me thankful today.<br /><br />My other son is just starting to spread his wings to fly. He is a bit more academic then my older son and is really into sports. So instead of going to school and then to work, he goes to school and then stays after for sports or some academic after school event. So I barely see him either. However, I am still thankful that I have a son that is so dedicated to his school work and his school sports. For this I am thankful today.<br /><br />Even though it is summer and school is out, I am off work and I have more time with my kids... or so you would think. I am still working 2 days a week at a Family Center teaching Parenting Classes, my kids are off with friends most days and life is still being lived and breathed mostly separate from my boys. So, whatever time I do have with them together is time that I cherish.<br /><br />While they sleep at night you can often find me sneaking into their rooms to kiss them on their foreheads and utter a prayer or two over them. When they are up and moving I am cooking and cleaning up after them with a thankful heart for every moment (even if it is a messy job moment), that I have to be with them and to be their mommy. Today I am thankful for my family... because to me my family is where it is at.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">"Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127:5<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-5338000196784959692011-07-11T05:26:00.000-07:002011-07-11T05:34:47.873-07:00Multitudes on Monday<a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff162/annvoskamp/multitudesonmondaysbutton2-1.jpg" ></a><br /><br />312. Waking up to the smell of fresh brewed coffee.<br />313. A full blue sky with a bright yellow sun.<br />314. The sound of water hitting the rocks.<br />315. The sound of your husband voice as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear.<br />316. A son triumph to become a licensed driver.<br />317. Having just enough.<br />318. Being needed.<br />319. Dogs rolling in the dirt after a bath! UGH!<br />320. Fresh picked tomatoes from a garden.<br />321. Sweet corn.<br />322. Cucumber salads.<br />323. Squishing sand between your toes.<br />324. The smell of pine.<br />325. Summer's fire pit.<br /><br />So thankful for today and the many blessings in my life. Look close there are blessing around every corner!<br /><br />Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701475468891083436.post-82336944734284086802011-07-10T16:00:00.000-07:002011-07-10T16:36:55.543-07:00Sunday SunshineI am so happy to be writing again. To be starting my journey to shed weights in my life again. I am trying to get back to the basics of life, of faith and of myself. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the process of life we forget to live life. We forget how far we have come and sometimes take steps backwards instead of forward. I was doing this. That is why I am starting over. I am going back to the simple steps, the abc's of life. The "Jesus Loves Me This I Know" phase. That's right... the way back to Sunday School mode! I am determined to take all the baby steps that I need to get myself back to the place I need to be in Him. Sometimes when we run too fast we miss a step along the way and it forces us to back track to find out where we went wrong. What step did I miss?<br /><br />I lost sight of myself and more importantly of I lost sight of God somewhere on my journey. No, I did not backslide or go to a place of horrible sin and corruption. I did however, lose something. I lost joy.... I lost the music and the dance and I just started to run. I was running so fast... way to fast to enjoy the journey. Time was moving by at expeditious speed that I could only hear the hum from the speed I was going and I no longer heard His voice. I had to stop. I had to stop running the race I was in and just step back from it all. I stopped writing, I stopped running, I stopped everything. I became still. I wanted to be still and know Him, the great I AM. I wanted to stop and listen for His voice again, for His song again. I wanted to hear... oh how I wanted to hear Him.<br /><br />I know it tells us in scripture to "run the race set before us..." there is a time and a season to run... run with fervor. But, my time to run was over... it is now my time to just be still and know He is. He is the Sunshine on this Sunday afternoon. He is the silence in the stillness of night and He is here with me ready to sing a new song. I just had to stop running the race and just bask in the presence of Him to learn this. It is my time to learn... running is over for now. I must just sit and learn so that I can run an even bigger race when the time comes. So for now, I bask in Sunday's Sunshine and listen to the great I AM... listen and be still and LEARN.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09269473808728594981noreply@blogger.com0