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Sunday, October 24, 2010

He is Enough

"Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds." Hosea 6:1

Sometimes life just hurts. Circumstances cause us to be torn and broken. We wake up smiling and go to sleep injured, hit so hard that we lose our breath. He always sees us. He never leaves us and He gets us through these moments. He allows the pain, the sorrow, the tearing and the injuries. He Himself does the tearing to pieces of our hearts, He Himself allows the injuries. Then He puts us back together and heals our wounds. Yet, there is always evidence of these hurtful moments by the scars that are left behind. Scars that we bare on our bodies as reminders of our trials of pain. Scars that tell our heroic stories of survival in the midst of severe adversity. Scars. We all have them. We all have at least one. Some are larger then others. But, a scar is a scar. We were torn apart, we bled real blood and our skin was broken in order to get this scar. It hurt. Sometimes so much so that we go into shock from the pain. Yes, He has injured us in some way or another. Yes, we may never understand why we have to suffer. But, really if you put it all into perspective, we have never and will never have to endure the pain that He endured on the cross. He died that we may live. "But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5
This is enough for me. Even when it hurts so bad I can't see past my tears I know He is enough. What He did for me was enough. Even though He tears me to pieces and it hurts so bad... He is enough.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

How we Live Our Lives

Isn't it amazing how time can just escape us? How before we know it a week, month or years have passed before we have given time to God. Time. How priceless it is. How important it is. It goes by, tick... tock. Then before we know it, it goes away. Just like that. Snap! A vapor. A mist. I did not realize how few our days were until my dad got sick with terminal cancer. I didn't realize that his last breath would escape him within a stilled second in time in the middle of the day. It made me realize something. What is it I am waiting for? Why am I even waiting at all? Why do I put off things for tomorrow? What if tomorrow never comes? What if today will be my last day here on earth?
Over the Summer I had a Breast Cancer scare. It reminded me of how vulnerable and fragile life is. How at any given moment it can change in an instant. As I was facing the possibility of facing a fight with cancer my very existence buckled. It was during this tumultuous time that I finally got it. It is not about how much time we have, it is about what we do with the time we are given that matters. How are we living our lives?
My dad was taken way too soon, but during the time he lived, he lived so well. He lived full. He dedicated his life to God. He made everyone feel excitement for living for God when he spoke each Sunday Morning at church. He fathered many. He uplifted everyone when he was present. He told me before he died that he wanted to help more people. He was just a great servant of God that helped people. There were over a thousand people that came to his funeral. All with a memory, a story, a thought about my dad and how he helped them.
Although my dad is gone and I miss him. I want to remember him and pay tribute to his legacy by helping others. Helping others the way my dad did. Not necessarily by words or deeds, but simply by how I live my life. To speak without words. To live for God and tell His story as I live my life day to day. That is why I write this blog. It is a reflection of my life for God as I live it. A peak into my heart. A heart that is fully, 100% dedicated to God. This is something I learned from dad. To live for Him every day and gaze upon His beauty, so that my life is beautiful to others and especially beautiful to God.

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple."
Psalm 27:4

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Back in a Groove

So I have been back to work for over a month now. I will say I am finally back into a groove with my busy schedule again. I had 10 weeks off over the Summer. I had time to sit around and pray, read the bible, worship and blog. Now I have no time what so ever to do such things. I had to find time to fit these things into my day. It was essential to me to do so. Imperative to my well being. Every time I would find a moment, something would go wrong. Like my dog's disharmony for a while. I am happy to say they are fine now but there were a few weeks of fighting going on between them. It was horrible. It took time away from my day that I could have used doing all of the things I mentioned earlier. Then there was all of the back to school meetings and open houses I had to attend. These too took away time from my day to do the essential spiritual things my soul was craving. Now that all of the back to school nights are behind me I am finally on my way to being Back in a Groove. Back to my morning bible study and prayer time. Back to reading and writing in my journals and blogs. Finally. I am in a groove. I felt drained by all the extra curricular activities. I am so happy they are behind me and I can get back to the basics in my life.
I need my time with God one on one in the morning dancing, singing, praying and reading His word. I need to read all of my favorite blogs and write on my own blogs daily. It is like a therapy for my heart and mind. A release. It is also a time for me to be refueled when I am empty.
For as long as I can remember I have had a special time during the day set aside to just be with the Lord. Yes, things can get in the way of this time on occasion. But for the most part I try to fit in this time with God every day no matter what. Even if it is at midnight. I have to have it. I long for it as a deer pants for water. So much so that even when I found myself too busy I would pray, sing and talk to God in my mind. I had to have this moment with Him even if it was for a brief moment in the car as I drove to and from all of those open houses. I had to. My mind and heart insisted on it.
I think it is those mind moments with the Lord that got me through the last few hectic weeks of my life. So now that I am back in the groove and can easily find time again each morning to do all of my spiritual essentials, I am doing it with gusto. Singing loudly, dancing with great enthusiasm and just lapping up every drop of Him that I can. I do this because I don't know when the next hectic, can't find a minute, time in my life will come again. Enjoy Him today. He is so Amazing!!! Lap Him UP!! Every drop of Him.

"So what shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my mind; I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my mind."
-1 Corinthians 14:15

Monday, October 11, 2010

Fullness of Life

"The thief's purpose is to kill, steal and destroy. My purpose is to give LIFE and FULLNESS." John 10:10

We all are familiar with this scripture. I could quote this one in my sleep. But today I saw the meaning of this scripture in a whole new way...
What is Fullness of life?

According to Webster's dictionary fullness and life are defined this way; Fullness: " The state of being filled; complete."
Life: "the period between life and death. The sum of activities."

So with these definitions in mind, how would you describe Fullness of life?

For me, my life up until this point had been a series of robberies. Much had been stolen from me. My very identity had been stripped away from me over the years. I had no idea who I was, nor did I feel that there was any hope for my future in finding who I was meant to be. Fullness! Ha! There could never be any fullness in my life. I was completely empty and void. Outside of my husband and children I had absolutely nothing. My life was dry, parched and barren. Then, over the summer something amazing happened to me. I began on a journey of finding my place in this world. Finding my identity. Finding my life. Thus, my life began to fill to overflowing. I became full... complete. My life as I knew it changed from barren to lush. The sum of all the activities of my life now had hope for a future. Because I learned this summer that Life comes from God and God alone. Not from my striving to be like Him or to know Him better. But, simply from being His and allowing Him the freedom to have His way with my life. By losing my life through surrendering it back to God I found my life and the fullness thereof. I found out what FULLNESS of LIFE really is. It is completeness in HIM for the sum of all of my days. Start to finish. It is knowing without doubt that He is in control and I can surrender all of my control to Him who will satisfy me all of my days. I am so thankful, so humbled and so grateful for His amazing grace in my life. In my FULLNESS of life.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

It's Been a While

Hello to everyone who faithfully reads my blog. I know it has been a while. I have been very busy living my life. My life that can be crazy and hectic sometimes. I have been faithfully spending time journaling in my hand written journal and doing my Thin Within Workbook study. I am just starting week 5 and I have been so blessed by this workbook series I cannot even begin to tell you. Today I recommitted myself, my heart and my mind to believing truth over lies. To knowing for sure that God is in fact that truth. The only truth in my life. He is there instantly when I cry out to Him for help. Without waiver He helps calm every storm in my life.
Thankfully, my life has been peaceful even though I am busier then ever right now. I am so thankful to God for that. That He has calmed the sea of my life. He really has. Yes, there are still problems. Every day I am faced with a challenge. But, boy His peace passes all understanding for everything I must face. I can face the storms life brings me, the tremendously high waves that wash over me sometimes, and the mountains I must climb every once in a while. I can face all of them because He quiets every storm, He calms the waves and He makes every mountain flat. His loves never fails. Ever! He comes to rescue us when we cry out to Him for help. This is a truth I know for sure and cling to every day of my busy life.

"O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you."
Isaiah 30:19