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Saturday, March 2, 2013

Something Beautiful

Sometimes I can't help but wonder.... what would life be like if only... I dream of something better. Of something different. Then, reality sinks in and slips me back into my life, my ordinary life and I realize that it really is not that bad. My life is actually really good! I have two beautiful healthy boys, a handsome and wonderful husband that I still love and he still loves me, after 20 plus years of marriage.

Sometimes I take it all for granted. Want a little more then I have been given. Complain a little more then I should. But, in retrospect who doesn't? We all forget what we have. Lose sight of the prizes in life that we have been given. Life just takes a toll on us sometimes and gives us blurry vision.

I feel like lately God has given me glasses to see things more clearly. To really see what is in front of me. It's like one of those moments where you are looking for something and it was right in front of you the whole time and you just couldn't see it. I finally see it. I see it clearly!

My life is good. My family is good. My marriage is good. I am blessed. I am truly blessed!

I am learning, to see... to really see what God has given me. It is something beautiful.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Do You Know?

I read a blog today from a mother who lost her son in a terrible car accident. He was a senior in High School and it was just before Christmas when the terrible accident occurred. In one of her blog posts she wrote about her sons hands and asked her readers if they knew... really knew what their child's hands felt like. If they could fell them in their minds without touching them? I cried hysterically as I read her post and felt her grief in every word.

Loss... it is something that compels us to remember every detail of a person when we lose them. The way they smelled, the way they felt, the texture of their skin and even the way their hands felt. If you have ever lost anyone in your life that you care deeply about you know what I am talking about. You know that every picture, every video, every piece of jewelry means something to you. It is like a priceless piece of treasure. I recently found a picture of my dad that I did not know I had and when I found it it felt like I had won the lottery.

When my dad passed away I took his sweater and a t-shirt from his drawer. I wanted something of his to wear, to have, to hold. I am actually wearing the sweater right now, this very moment as I write this blog and it makes me feel close to him. It makes me feel like he is here somehow. I wear the sweater every night as part of my PJ wardrobe. Sometimes I just run my fingers over the sweater and I can swear that if feels just like my daddy. Even though his scent no longer permeates the sweater, sometimes I swear I can still smell him when I put it on.

If I learned anything from the loss of my dad I learned this: Take time every day to really know your loved ones. To really listen to them, breathe them in, feel the texture of their skin and know for certain, beyond the shadow of a doubt what their hands feel like. Do you know? Do you really know?