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Friday, January 28, 2011

Breaking The Chains

As I sit here in the early morning hours sipping coffee and writing this blog post, I have come to realize something. I started this blog to journal my experience to lose 40 pounds but it has turned into something so much more. It has gone from a number on a scale to a freedom song in my heart. I have dropped 20 pounds and counting thus far from my physical body, but the spiritual weights that have gripped my heart for years that have been dropped and loosed have been the main event of this whole losing weight adventure. My blog is entitled Angelina's Adventures In Losing Weight because that is what it started out to be. An adventure to lose the weight I had accumulated after to many years of bondage to depression and feeling unfulfilled with my life. For some reason the more I lost myself to depression and being bound up the more weight I gained. I have been a Christian since I was 12 years old. My dad was the Pastor of a wonderful thriving church in Troy, NY. The stigma with Pastor's kids of being rebellious and crazy was not my stigma. On the contrary, I was a very active member of the church involved with many of the ministries and serving God whole heatedly. I married a wonderful Christian man, had two beautiful children and remained active and involved in my church. I was the head of the entire Children's Ministry and Youth Ministry. I sang in the choir, ran the woman's bible study, and was the head of the drama and dance team. After my dad passed away 7 years ago, I slowly stepped down from everything in church that I was involved with. I went from being active to inactive in a matter of one years time. I felt I needed time to grieve and find myself again. During these years I went from a size 2 to a size 14. It happened slowly and steadily. Every year another few pounds added on to the number on the scale. With every pound that crept up on my body, a million pounds was collected to the heaviness in my heart and soul. I encountered and faced many hurdles that life has to offer in being a wife, mother and fatherless child. I became depressed. I didn't know it when it was happening that I was depressed, but looking back over the past few months of freedom in my life, I see now that I suffered from pure depression. But, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. This blog is a part of my healing process, and the road to freedom that God has used to drop the weights in my life and help me to shed the pounds of depression. I am so thankful for this avenue to write and release the chains that have bound me over the past seven years. I never intended that my blog would encourage anyone else or help anyone else, but God surprises us sometimes and actually uses us to help others. I mean isn't that our purpose? To go into the world and preach the gospel? Well, to everyone who reads and follows I thank God for you. I am profoundly touched that you read what God is doing in my life and I pray that God uses the lessons I write about to enlighten the path of the journey you walk upon too. God Bless.

"He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains."
Psalm 107:14


Runner Mom said...

Hey, Angelina! Thanks for visiting my blog and for yoru sweet comments! I am married to a PK, so I see where you're coming from! Your journey is an amazing one! I am so glad that you are sharing it with others....letting God work through you to serve Him right where you are. Continue to walk in His steps.

Clarence Heller said...

I am a new blogger and I hope to get as much out of this process as you. Yes, God surprises. Isn't it delightful!

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