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Sunday, August 15, 2010

Letting Go

Yesterday morning we had our Thin Within Chat. The topic was about forgiveness. A subject I have been on for the past couple of weeks. A subject that is something I think needs to be worked on our entire lifetime. Forgiveness. Someone brought up that they would eat every time their husband left on a business trip. I could seriously relate to this. When I was first married my husband was a Regional Manager for a Kitchen Supply Company and he traveled weekly to various locations. He was gone at least one or two nights every week. I was stuck home alone with 2 young children. I was also babysitting at the time to make extra money. It was hard enough raising my own two little ones then, to add 2 other toddlers to the mix. I have to say this was an adventurous time in my life. I was exhausted all of the time. I ate non stop. My husband was off on his business trips in nice hotels and getting to eat out. He didn't have to cook or clean and he got to sleep uninterrupted through the night. While I on the other hand was home cooking, cleaning, taking care of the dog, the kids and doing it solo. I became resentful towards my husband and towards my kids. I forgot how bitter and miserable I was until someone brought this topic up in our chat yesterday morning. All day yesterday I forgave my husband for having a job that kept him from me when I needed a little help. I forgave my kids for being so needy, (I mean really, can you believe kids are needy? ) and making me feel so overwhelmed. I let it all go. I felt a huge weight lifted. For the first time in a long time I felt closure. I know this sound trivial, but it was important for me to do this. Even though I was not feeling this way at all anymore I still had to do this. Even though my husband is home ALL OF THE TIME now. I still had to do this. Even though my kids hardly ever need me anymore I still had to do this. I felt such a new found joy for my family. Such a new found happiness and peacefulness. I am so thankful for what Thin Within is doing in my life. I am so thankful that God is teaching me to let go. Plus I lost 2 more pounds this week. My scale works up here. I have 18 to go. I am more then half way there and such a better person for it. Thank you God! Thank you all the ladies in our chat yesterday (especially Heidi).

"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before..." Philippians 3:13


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