I Am A Writer

Yes... I have taken a few days off of writing again. It is Summer and in the Summer you take vacation. I was on vacation for a few days. Now I am back again.

So while I was on vacation, I got to thinking... Thinking that, life is really short and it is so important to follow your dreams before time runs out to achieve them. My dream, since I can remember, is to become a published author someday. There I said it. Well actually I wrote it. I wrote it out loud for all to read. But, mostly I wrote it out loud for myself to remember. I had forgotten. Forgotten what my passion is. Put it on the back burner of life, and stepped away. Today, I am not going to do that. I am going to instead... run towards my passion to be a published author, embrace it and cease the moment. I am not sure how, or what, or where but I have decided when. TODAY is when. Today Is NOW! I have to fulfill this life long dream. I HAVE TO!

I believe that God puts our dreams and passions in our lives and in our hearts for a reason. I believe that when He knits us together in the wombs He knits those dreams and passions into our very essence for us to become who He predestined us to be. When He knit me together in my Mother's womb He knit me with a pen and journal in my hand. Since I learned how to write, I have been writing. Writing my heart and soul, spilling my guts, recording my dreams and pouring out what He has poured into me with pen onto paper. I am a writer!

I was so fearful to tell others my dream to be a writer. Afraid that if I told people about my dream to be a published author, it would never come true. But, today I am pushing through the fear and confessing to all who reads these words today.... I have a dream... a dream to write, to be heard, to be published and a dream to achieve my goal in becoming a published author. There I said it!!!! I am a writer.

"Therefore write the things which you have seen, and the things which are, and the things which will take place after these things."
Revelation 1:19

Family Is Where It Is At

Today I am sitting here just basking in the joy that I have all of my family together right now. You see I have two teenage boys that love to be with their friends all of the time. My one son who is 17 and officially a Senior this year... is absolutely never home. Between working and being out with friends I barely see him any more... and frankly I do not like it. My other son is 13 and just starting to be out all of the time with friends. That is what happens with teenagers, they get to this place of being independent and no longer need you or want you any more. It breaks my heart to let go but I have to. I have to release them and trust God that I have raised them well in Him. Trust God that they will be okay as I do release them into this world.

My oldest just got his drivers license recently and is working really hard and saving money to buy his very first car. I am so proud of him and his work ethic. So very proud that he gets up every day, goes to school, comes home for a few minutes and heads strait to work every night. He did this and maintained a very good grade point average all year. This makes me thankful today.

My other son is just starting to spread his wings to fly. He is a bit more academic then my older son and is really into sports. So instead of going to school and then to work, he goes to school and then stays after for sports or some academic after school event. So I barely see him either. However, I am still thankful that I have a son that is so dedicated to his school work and his school sports. For this I am thankful today.

Even though it is summer and school is out, I am off work and I have more time with my kids... or so you would think. I am still working 2 days a week at a Family Center teaching Parenting Classes, my kids are off with friends most days and life is still being lived and breathed mostly separate from my boys. So, whatever time I do have with them together is time that I cherish.

While they sleep at night you can often find me sneaking into their rooms to kiss them on their foreheads and utter a prayer or two over them. When they are up and moving I am cooking and cleaning up after them with a thankful heart for every moment (even if it is a messy job moment), that I have to be with them and to be their mommy. Today I am thankful for my family... because to me my family is where it is at.

"Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127:5

Multitudes on Monday

312. Waking up to the smell of fresh brewed coffee.
313. A full blue sky with a bright yellow sun.
314. The sound of water hitting the rocks.
315. The sound of your husband voice as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear.
316. A son triumph to become a licensed driver.
317. Having just enough.
318. Being needed.
319. Dogs rolling in the dirt after a bath! UGH!
320. Fresh picked tomatoes from a garden.
321. Sweet corn.
322. Cucumber salads.
323. Squishing sand between your toes.
324. The smell of pine.
325. Summer's fire pit.

So thankful for today and the many blessings in my life. Look close there are blessing around every corner!

Sunday Sunshine

I am so happy to be writing again. To be starting my journey to shed weights in my life again. I am trying to get back to the basics of life, of faith and of myself. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the process of life we forget to live life. We forget how far we have come and sometimes take steps backwards instead of forward. I was doing this. That is why I am starting over. I am going back to the simple steps, the abc's of life. The "Jesus Loves Me This I Know" phase. That's right... the way back to Sunday School mode! I am determined to take all the baby steps that I need to get myself back to the place I need to be in Him. Sometimes when we run too fast we miss a step along the way and it forces us to back track to find out where we went wrong. What step did I miss?

I lost sight of myself and more importantly of I lost sight of God somewhere on my journey. No, I did not backslide or go to a place of horrible sin and corruption. I did however, lose something. I lost joy.... I lost the music and the dance and I just started to run. I was running so fast... way to fast to enjoy the journey. Time was moving by at expeditious speed that I could only hear the hum from the speed I was going and I no longer heard His voice. I had to stop. I had to stop running the race I was in and just step back from it all. I stopped writing, I stopped running, I stopped everything. I became still. I wanted to be still and know Him, the great I AM. I wanted to stop and listen for His voice again, for His song again. I wanted to hear... oh how I wanted to hear Him.

I know it tells us in scripture to "run the race set before us..." there is a time and a season to run... run with fervor. But, my time to run was over... it is now my time to just be still and know He is. He is the Sunshine on this Sunday afternoon. He is the silence in the stillness of night and He is here with me ready to sing a new song. I just had to stop running the race and just bask in the presence of Him to learn this. It is my time to learn... running is over for now. I must just sit and learn so that I can run an even bigger race when the time comes. So for now, I bask in Sunday's Sunshine and listen to the great I AM... listen and be still and LEARN.

Faithful Friday

Sitting here just thinking.... Thinking about how amazingly faithful God is to me. How no matter what my circumstance or predicament, God is there faithfully standing by my side. He catches me when I fall, comforts me when I am wounded, encourages me to go on when I feel like I can't move and He remains faithful to me when I lose all of my faith in this life.

I have had many faithless moments. Many uncertain minutes. Too many to count days where I have doubted the saving grace of my Savior. Why do I have moments of weakness? Why do I have doubts and faithlessness? I have been saved almost all of my life and I still wonder... wonder if I will make it? Will I make it to see Him face to face? Will my life count for something when I breathe my last breath? Will when I take that final breath move forward to the sound of His voice speaking these words to me; "Well done my faithful servant enter into my Kingdom today."

My hope and prayer and my entire existence really comes down to this... Am I faithful? Am I able to withstand the doubts and fears that arise? Am I able to move forward even in the fiercest moments of combat? Do I remain faithful even in my weakest moments in this life? These are the questions I ask myself today. For I have seen my share of battles. I have carried with me many battle scars in life.... but through it all I have felt the imprint of God in my lifetime. I am His. I am faithfully, fearlessly HIS. I will hold on firmly, with a tight grip to this.

"We must continue to hold firmly to our declaration of faith. The one who made the promise is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

Back On Track

So.... I know it has been a while since I last wrote. A lot has been happening in my life that I just had to live out without writing for a while. I had to take it all in. Every inch of it... every moment of it. But, today here I am! Writing to relive the experience I gained through some of the moments I have lived in life. I am officially on Summer break. I have been spending most of my days enjoying the view at my Summer home on the Lake. I hope you enjoy the view also, with the picture I included.

I have decided to reread the book Thin Within as I laze around. I am realizing that we should never get to comfortable thinking we have conquered all of our weaknesses. You see I thought I had this eating thing under full control... but I was sadly mistaken. I discovered by rereading Thin Within that I have a long way to go. To be quite honest, I don't think I will ever fully get there. I still have "stinkin thinkin" in my head and heart about life, God and food. Yes, I faced many big issues in my life last Summer when I first discovered Thin Within. Yes, I no longer over eat and am overweight. Yes, many chains have fallen off of my life and I have been set free from heavy weights that pulled me down for many years. But.... there is more losing and releasing that must take place in my life. Sure, the obvious things have been dealt with. However, now the deeper digging starts. The peeling back of another layer in my life begins. Am I ready for this? God must think so, so I must believe that I can face another painful digging. I can, if He says I can.

So I am allowing God to shovel away at my heart of hearts again. To go deeper still. This time the digging is more complex, as if there is some cherished treasure that needs special care. The digging is slower and more deliberate. Like an excavation of uncovering some great worth. Could it be that I am of great worth.... that something lost deep down inside of me could be of great value and beauty?

I am anxious to see what God digs up from inside of me. Sure, it may be painful. But beauty is pain. I will go there... to that painful place of excavation and digging to see the beauty arise. I am ready, I ma back on track and ready!

“...Peace to you, do not be afraid. Your God and the God of your father has put treasure in your sacks for you..." Genesis 43:23